How to tell if someone is being rude to you for being a trans?

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How to tell if someone is being rude to you for being a trans? Empty How to tell if someone is being rude to you for being a trans?

Post  Jehanne on Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:32 am

I had someone belch at me from a moving car that was 150 feet or so away from me (sorry about the "English" units -- 40 or so meters.)  Question is, 1) Was this person "just belching"?; 2) Was he belching at me because he thought that I was a woman and he was just being obnoxious?; or, 3) He was belching at me because he recognized me as being a "trans"?

Not that any of this matters, but, how to interpret such "negative feedback", as if it did matter (which, of course, it really doesn't; the guy was probably just a jerk)?

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:47 am

It's been MY experience, that they won't 'belch' at you if they have an issue with you.

The standard reaction is to yell "faggot" as they think you are just a 'guy in a dress'.
They won't 'belch' at you.

The ignorant out there that dislike us, are NOT afraid to be particularly specific in their hate dear.

My advice is to tell your inner voice to "shut the fuck up" whenever you see someone laughing, or otherwise looking 'suspicious' when passing you. Because often the negativity and the paranoia in us, is unfounded and totally off base.

The rude and ignorant, will NOT be concerned about leaving any room for doubt.

If you don't hear an actual slur, then you are likely making everything up. Transgender girls are not immune to fears of worth, the effects of body shaming, and self-esteem damaging self-doubt. We are no different than any other women in this respect.

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Post  Jehanne on Wed Jul 18, 2018 1:03 am

Good advice; been thinking about it, and a "belch" does seem to be a bit underrated if the guy hated trans and thought that I was one.

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Post  Guest on Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:13 pm

It's easy to become hypersensitive - I can certainly relate.

And thus end up conjuring up all sorts of mental demons and second guessing everybody's every action.

My advice to you is to memorise the following, and treat it as a mantra. Your own personal worry beads, as it were.


Hanlon's Razor - Never attribute to malice that which may be adequately explained by stupidity.

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Post  Tara on Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:58 pm

Papillon wrote:Hanlon's Razor - Never attribute to malice that which may be adequately explained by stupidity.

One of my go-to laws, along with Sturgeon's Law (90% of everything is crap), and Tara's Law of Marriage (the more expensive the wedding, the shorter the actual marriage).

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"Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see." — Edgar A. Poe
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Wed Jul 18, 2018 4:15 pm

Tara's law probably explains my 27 year marriage then Smile

'Expensive' isn't a word that applied to it.

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Post  mariehart1 on Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:42 pm

It's easy to be paranoid, yes guilty as charged but not everyone is looking at you and judging you. There was a well know test where someone was asked to wear an embarrassing, to them, tee shirt and mix with other people. The majority in the room either didn't notice or thought nothing of it.


My wife is a bit like that. She told me yesterday that at a meeting she asked a sensible question and thought she heard someone snigger. The proper response would have been to turn around and glare at the person but no she decided everyone in the room was laughing at her and comparing her unfavourably to another colleague. She spends her whole time worrying about what people think about her and interprets most remarks as if they were meant as an insult. I'm often walking on eggshells around her. Meanwhile she somehow holds down a senior position in the organisation despite the fact that she's convinced her bosses think she's not up to the job even though they've never once even suggested it. Quite the opposite indeed.


The point is that in reality, no one pays much attention to anyone else. It's all about themselves. We really should ignore everything unless it's blatant and in your face.

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Post  Jehanne on Sat Jul 21, 2018 3:30 am

FPS -- Frames per second.
MIPS -- millions of instructions per second (deprecated).
MFLOPS -- millions of floating-point operations per second.

JPS -- judgments per second.

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