micro aggressions

Go down

micro aggressions Empty micro aggressions

Post  Abby on Thu Jul 19, 2018 8:07 pm

Been noticing more and more micro aggressions at work resontly and starting to wear me down alot. Some people have stopped talking to me, shifted there schedules so not meeting on the trains. Feeling like I am being pushed out of the work team, this is at the same time as the newest girl is integrating in better. I know she is not trans positive as she started before I came out and was very negative about a trans man she meet and in general about trans people. That along with info from a friend about what she's heard (one of the lectures I work with thought I could get pregnant as I am on estrogen now, he thought things just shrink and grow!) .

That and I have been interviewed for a internal position promotion, but several on the panel were the ones who stoped talking and they did not want me to get it as they did not think they could replace me in my current role as I help them to much. Sigh..... Looking elsewhere but not much around. Going to talk to the LGBT unit to at lest have a private chat at what is going on. May be the possibility of transfer to a different departments as that was offered at the start of the at work transition.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin

I am dyslexic, and normally use a smart phone to interact with the world. So the words written may not be the words intended to be used.
Abby
Abby

Posts : 109
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : south of the original Manchester!

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  MichaelaSJ on Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:59 am

Abby wrote:...they did not want me to get it as they did not think they could replace me in my current role as I help them to much.
Abby, I am so sorry you need to put up with the passive-aggressive shit you are describing. And the real kick in the groin to you is their excuse not to promote you because you are too valuable in your current position - THIS IS ABSOLUTE BULL SHIT and I hope you can argue your case to a more senior management.

It is their responsibility to promote the best of the lot (YOU) and it your responsibility to train your replacement so they can do the same job in the same manner that got you promoted - so she, or he, can in turn be promoted when you move up or on.

Their reason for not wanting to consider you is immature and simply exhibits a lack in managerial skill.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
MichaelaSJ
MichaelaSJ
Moderator

Posts : 838
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : San Jose, CA

Back to top Go down

The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Abby on Sat Jul 21, 2018 9:24 pm

[quote="Angelic"]
Abby wrote:

Maybe you will get a $$deal. And if you can you kindly forward some to your neighborhood friendly transwoman because I'm broke. With great microaggressions, comes great microtransactions...

Lol, keep trying but I don't think a pay out will occur! Although while getting my chest waxed today I have come up with a plan for painless permanent hair removal. Just it's out side my specialty area and need a ton of funding!

The uni as a whole has been super, with people making effort to make me feel comfortable, getting time off to attend medical appointments, therapy etc. (Boss lady's not keen, as I think one of the team member have complained I was taking time off but HR have said if it's part of the treatment then it's fine) which is kind why I don't want to leave as the uni is very keen to support transgender staff and students. It's just a few bad apples making it unpalatable. I could bitch about all the little things and get pushed under the bus several times. I just need to get over my fear of change!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin

I am dyslexic, and normally use a smart phone to interact with the world. So the words written may not be the words intended to be used.
Abby
Abby

Posts : 109
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : south of the original Manchester!

Back to top Go down

The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Celia Eriksson on Sat Jul 21, 2018 11:52 pm

Hi Abby!

What kind of removal was you thinking of Abby? I was going to say, you won't go far wrong with a home IPL system that are coming down in price dramatically. I would recommend the higher end ones, as there are lots of dodgy companies jumping on the bandwagon.

Anyone buying one, read the instructions carefully, there are stories that they can burn if not used correctly, (work from a mid setting at first), especially upon the face and tanned areas. For the first four or five sessions you need quite some time, you keep body entirely shaved, (I like that bit! Ya don't have to grow like ya did for electro), and do IPL every fortnight. Then once a month.  

They inhibit growth from under the nosey to the toesies and in many cases after six months plus, lots of women have found zero growth. I am using one, the Philips Lumea for stragglers and stubborn areas like the underarm, bum crevice and pubies. I am finding the results quite impressive after three months and am nearly done with it, though they say you have to 'top up' every 8 weeks when you think you're done, coz there's always stragglers!, until there's nothing!

It is much cheaper than electrolysis and laser, I wish they had been around years ago, after all the lolly I spent. It don't hurt much, just the occasional thwack like a light ping from an elasticcy band.

If it's electrolysis ya going for, I found electro much more painful and I'm having laser done on two tatts that I want gone and that is painful too, but even that is not as bad as electro was. If I was young again, I'd choose 1. Home or studio IPL, 2. Home or studio Laser and 3. Electrolysis.

Celia xx

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
micro aggressions Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
Celia Eriksson
Admin

Posts : 946
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 58
Location : Surrey, England

http://thetransgendertimes.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Celia Eriksson on Sun Jul 22, 2018 12:45 am


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
micro aggressions Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
Celia Eriksson
Admin

Posts : 946
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 58
Location : Surrey, England

http://thetransgendertimes.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Abby on Mon Jul 23, 2018 7:34 am

Currently using laser treatment on my face, hurts like nothing I have ever experienced and that's pilled up with my meds for the back pain. I have a I'll, which I should go back to and give it a other go.

The Idea I have is basically gene therapy. Either blocking or editting out the sequence to produce hair with the in the hair follicle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin

I am dyslexic, and normally use a smart phone to interact with the world. So the words written may not be the words intended to be used.
Abby
Abby

Posts : 109
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : south of the original Manchester!

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Celia Eriksson on Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:09 am


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
micro aggressions Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
Celia Eriksson
Admin

Posts : 946
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 58
Location : Surrey, England

http://thetransgendertimes.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  MichaelaSJ on Mon Jul 23, 2018 7:23 pm

Abby wrote:Currently using laser treatment on my face, hurts like nothing I have ever experienced and that's pilled up with my meds for the back pain.
Just wait until you need electrolysis to clear up the many hairs that laser misses.

OUCH!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
MichaelaSJ
MichaelaSJ
Moderator

Posts : 838
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : San Jose, CA

Back to top Go down

The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Celia Eriksson on Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:06 pm

Hi Angel!

Well actually, the pain of an IPL is far less than electrolysis or laser, and the great advantage is that you can remain shaven throughout the process. The only non shaving part is after treatment, 24 to 48 hours. I do recommend it, for example, my underarms are becoming patchy and not growing back as fast, I'd say it's slowed down threefold at least and some bits have not regrown at all.

You said, if I remember, you have dark hair and light skin, you are according to the Philip's website the best candidate for IPL, but I just think it works so well on my dark blonde hair that I think it's best for that.... I am always determined with everything I do though, you have to keep at it, a months break through procrastination during the first six months will ruin your efforts!

It marmalises the live hair bulbs, which is only part of your hair, the majority is non-bulbed and sticks around for weeks, then your body makes new ones. They have to be zapped as they reform until there is no area left where new ones form. Ya still get the odd straggler, like any other process, so they recommend an eight weekly top up after that.

If ya want to know more if ya get one, I'll advise you more especially the settings for delicate skin and that. Even so the setting should start at middle then go up, this middle setting especially with face and the face should only be done on a high setting if you are on clearing up stragglers. Never start on the lowest one for the body, coz it is totally innefective.

Celia xx


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
micro aggressions Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
Celia Eriksson
Admin

Posts : 946
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 58
Location : Surrey, England

http://thetransgendertimes.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Guest on Tue Jul 24, 2018 6:07 pm

My IPL machine only slows down the hair growth for a day or three... I haven't noticed any hair elimination effect, and I have dark hair and very light skin.

I'll take every little bit of help I can get though - HRT has made my skin much softer and quite translucent - the unshavable hair shafts below the skin surface show up more clearly than ever before.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Abby on Thu Jul 26, 2018 6:41 am

Well things at work got a little weird. Bumped into a guy who I work with as a part of the safety team but not in the same department. He said "oh we have all been talking about you, and we all think your doing well and very pretty" er thank you? I am a lot happier these days.....
I don't know if to be offended that they been discussing my looks, or flattered by there conclusion! My wife thinks he was trying to chat me up which is another option.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin

I am dyslexic, and normally use a smart phone to interact with the world. So the words written may not be the words intended to be used.
Abby
Abby

Posts : 109
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : south of the original Manchester!

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Lesley Niyori on Thu Jul 26, 2018 12:06 pm

Abby wrote:Well things at work got a little weird. Bumped into a guy who I work with as a part of the safety team but not in the same department. He said "oh we have all been talking about you, and we all think your doing well and very pretty" er thank you? I am a lot happier these days.....
I don't know if to be offended that they been discussing my looks, or flattered by there conclusion! My wife thinks he was trying to chat me up which is another option.

This is where a friend tells you to shut up and accept that some people are the nice people you hope they will be Smile

Yes, they ARE talking about you, and YES, some WILL think you look good.

And yes, some will indeed try to chat you up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 703
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 57
Location : Lindsay Ontario Canada

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Celia Eriksson on Thu Jul 26, 2018 7:04 pm

Oscar Wilde comes to mind, it goes a bit like this and has been my attitude always: There's one thing worse than than being talked about, that's not being talked about at all. Anyway Abby, that was most certainly a compliment and men rarely go out their way to pass compliments for nothing.

Celia xx

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
micro aggressions Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
Celia Eriksson
Admin

Posts : 946
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 58
Location : Surrey, England

http://thetransgendertimes.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Abby on Thu Jul 26, 2018 7:55 pm


Thanks, its is a little weird getting complements, and talked about in a positive way. Nice though!

lol, I am normally total oblivious to being chatted up / flirting. It was about 6 months before I realised that the woman I fancied at uni was had been flirting with me all that time! She thought I was playing hard to get, and I thought she was just very friendlily! It was only when I asked her friend if she though I had a chance I found out! It all worked out in the end (15 ish years) and she has learned to be more direct with me these days. Very Happy

Oh goddess! I think that the ticket lady at the train station today was flirting with me as well today! My ticket did not work in the barrier so had to call her over to let me though, had a little chat and she said if it (the ticket) does not work I could always stay with her rather than the hot a sweaty trains! Embarassed

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin

I am dyslexic, and normally use a smart phone to interact with the world. So the words written may not be the words intended to be used.
Abby
Abby

Posts : 109
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : south of the original Manchester!

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Celia Eriksson on Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:40 pm

Well enjoy Abby, you'll get more and more, rest assured. BTW I am so glad I read your signature tonight, coz I did wonder about the spelling and words and that sometimes. Forgive me, I did wonder if you'd had a glass of wine or three, instead of thinking of what was obvious!

It only resonates a little because a partner of mine was dyslexic, that was when lots of folk simply saw those that had dyslexia as having an excuse for having poor English somehow? I know how frustrating it must be for you, because he used to get fed up with my having to read most stuff to him. I guess it's easier today with computery things that can read and relay things, I don't know.

Celia xx

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
micro aggressions Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
Celia Eriksson
Admin

Posts : 946
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 58
Location : Surrey, England

http://thetransgendertimes.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Lesley Niyori on Fri Jul 27, 2018 1:39 am

Nice is when a man takes a fancy to ya. Even more funny is when you begin to attract the lesbians Smile

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 703
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 57
Location : Lindsay Ontario Canada

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Abby on Fri Jul 27, 2018 6:46 am

Yep my brain sucks at times! It's like their is filters and walls blocking communication between what I say in my brain, and what I read, write or say.y main issue areas are in out put (written work, etc), rather than input reading is not to bad for me (compared to other disleixas), just have to be careful as I can misread easily. Which always keeps me on my toes as a chemist one letter difference can change everything! Also means when I read back sentences I read what I wanted to put and not what's there at times.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those who've survived: Breath. That's it. Once more. Good. Your good. Even if you're not, you're alive. That is a victory. Jemisin

I am dyslexic, and normally use a smart phone to interact with the world. So the words written may not be the words intended to be used.
Abby
Abby

Posts : 109
Join date : 2018-05-19
Location : south of the original Manchester!

Back to top Go down

micro aggressions Empty Re: micro aggressions

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum