Dysphorinception
Page 1 of 1
Dysphorinception
So I've had an interesting few days just behind me.
Since Saturday I had been feeling very masculine... When I looked in the mirror all I saw was DeadGuy. Typical dysphoriaville.
Here's the interesting part: At no time was I feeling dysphoric as I should have been. I felt self-conscious about my budding boobs at work (I went braless and that was a mistake). I felt like a guy with tits. I hadn't bothered to shave my face for three days, my cargo pants and sneakers were masculine., I hadn't tucked. I just wasn't bothered at how I felt or looked.
And THAT gave me dysphoria. The giving a shit about not giving a shit about my manbro vibe. Riaan wasn't in the driver's seat, nossir. It was all Rhianne. It was like the new car smell had evaporated and I was back to driving a rustbucket but I was resigned to it with acceptance. I didn't lose hope or any of that. There was a fucktonne of self-analysis and confusion thrown in along for the ride, but that's par for the course).
Anyway, I had a poor night's sleep, but the little I had was enough to reboot me and this morning I felt fine and back to my normal self.. I wore the skinniest jeans and sluttiest boots I own and wore them to work. Extra set of bra pads and job done!
Since Saturday I had been feeling very masculine... When I looked in the mirror all I saw was DeadGuy. Typical dysphoriaville.
Here's the interesting part: At no time was I feeling dysphoric as I should have been. I felt self-conscious about my budding boobs at work (I went braless and that was a mistake). I felt like a guy with tits. I hadn't bothered to shave my face for three days, my cargo pants and sneakers were masculine., I hadn't tucked. I just wasn't bothered at how I felt or looked.
And THAT gave me dysphoria. The giving a shit about not giving a shit about my manbro vibe. Riaan wasn't in the driver's seat, nossir. It was all Rhianne. It was like the new car smell had evaporated and I was back to driving a rustbucket but I was resigned to it with acceptance. I didn't lose hope or any of that. There was a fucktonne of self-analysis and confusion thrown in along for the ride, but that's par for the course).
Anyway, I had a poor night's sleep, but the little I had was enough to reboot me and this morning I felt fine and back to my normal self.. I wore the skinniest jeans and sluttiest boots I own and wore them to work. Extra set of bra pads and job done!
Guest- Guest
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum