last night with the family, playing scattergories. Got ripped off I put diablo sauce as a spicy food, they voted me to have no points. Then for payback I put something politically incorrect as the next word (cant say it because it is politically incorrect.) And I got double points and won, but my dad called me a doomkauf (which is German for dummy.) This hurt my feelings and sent me on a dark spiral. I am a genius and noone appreciates me. Then later that game my dad accidentally misgendered me and did not apologize. This ruined my life and sent me on a dark spiral, because earlier that day I said noone loves me, but for the next few years I become a workaholic in order to be a millionairre, and once I am a millionaiire someone will love me. I said I will be positive and only focus on my work. But then my dad had to ruin it by putting me in a dark spiral, I said nothing is sacred and nowhere can I remain happy at peace. And then I kept thinking about how it is the universe's fault, for making me be born into a boy body, I said why couldn't I have a good life of love where I was in a girl's body? And that very day I kept thinking about one internet comment, about a man who said "We are here to live life, laugh and to love, and hopefully have a good time of it along the way." And it made me FOMO hardcore because, I am almost 30 and never had one good relationship and always sexually frustrated, I said everyone gets to have a life except me, and it haunts me always and makes me FOMO in despair, and it all feels rigged against me.