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Post  Tara on Fri Aug 17, 2018 1:52 pm

Angelic wrote:And what is with wanting Mike Pence to be president? He'd be worse for LGBT's than Trump.

Truth. I think he's the one behind most of Trump's anti-LGBT actions.

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Fri Aug 17, 2018 2:32 pm

"the fuck are these forums"

To answer that question.

They are not professional help. Which some of us seem in need of some days.

They're just some friends hoping to spend some time together and discuss mutual challenges.

I have two friends that live in town.
Carolyn and Coralyn (yes odd coincidence).
The first has a boyfriend who fails any logical test of what is acceptable behaviour.
The second has an ex-boyfriend she refuses to let rot in jail where his belligerent self deserves to be.

Both girls (cisgender females), simply refuse to listen to their gal friends advice.
They refuse to stop allowing the behaviour.
They can't stop seeing their love for the individual is patently idiotic.

Some people simply refuse to listen to the advice being given to them by friends.

These forums are just people offering advice. Free advice. Advice that isn't professional grade advice. And we are ALL dealing with the 'thrill' of being transgender. And it doesn't matter if you are new to the game, or long since post-op and have been doing this game for years. Because some problems are recent to the person, or they've been around for some time and not going anywhere any time soon.

Hormones won't fix a life you ain't interested in faxing.
GRS won't magically solve a problem you won't admit is there.
There is no magical solution socially to some of our challenges.
If you won't chase after a dream, don't expect to ever catch it.

If you are going to be a Carolyn or a Coralyn, eventually those around you hoping to help will stop trying to help. It's frustrating trying to help someone that simply isn't interested in trying to fix the problem.

Eventually, the response is "fine, whatever."

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Post  mariehart1 on Fri Aug 17, 2018 3:28 pm

It's funny but I never found that either here or on TGboards. Most people I interact with are interested, offer advice and have something nice to say. I avoid getting into flame wars and generally try to be polite and offer something useful, I like to believe, to others here including you.

But then again I've never posted a thread called 'The fuck are these forums' and accused everyone else of being unsympathetic.


Angelic, I think it's clear that you have  a lot of problems, many of your own making. Most of us here are not well equipped to deal with them. Plus in my experience advice and experience offered to you is simply ignored or rejected as if it was some form of attack on you. The lesson I learned is to simply not answer at all.


Like Lesley I knew a woman who was a friend. Her problem was that in her mind men should be bastards to her. Treat her badly, abuse her, use for their own ends. When I failed to live up to that expectation, she was furious and cut me off. My last communication to her was to point this out. I doubt she listened. There are many women like that on different levels. My wife is disappointed in me too. Her Father while a kindly man was strongly religious and a strict Father and a successful breadwinner. Nothing like me. I'm not sure why she thought I could by anything different. Clearly you are a looking for something we can't give you.


Let's be clear, this thread is an attempt to be deliberately provocative and provoke a negative response. Well I don't want to play that game. Nor do I suspect the others.


You seem to thrive on conflict. You hate to be ignored. But you sing the same old song all the time and we've heard it all before. We switch off.


Yet there are times when you engage properly. I like that Angelic. But it's a rare moment.


When I first saw this thread my inclination was to roll my eyes and ignore it. But this is my answer and it's final one.


I remind you of a saying. 'If you get up in the morning and meet one asshole, then you met an asshole. If you spend the day meeting assholes. Then you're the asshole

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Post  Celia Eriksson on Fri Aug 17, 2018 4:28 pm

Hi Angel.

Well, I don't mind that word in a post's text, but I'm not having it displayed on the starting page or a subsection page. I do not like the title, period. We are a growing site and I'm not having prospective members scared off with a topic headed like that. Sorry, I have changed it.

So to the post, ok sweetheart, which question or problem would you like advice upon, I have looked as much as I am prepared to spend time doing for the unanswered post but cannot find it. Remember, we are quite a small number, we all have lives to lead and some may not have time to read every word written here.

Let us know how you feel, without rage. Try to understand what I have written about the topic title. Imagine you are a new user looking for a transgender forum, what would you think? Stop and think how it looks to a young transgender woman wishing to share, learn and find other transgender women for solace, advice and sharing of her experiences. Were she a polite, sensitive or nervous soul, she would read such a title and not wish to join, would she?

Celia xx

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Post  mariehart1 on Sat Aug 18, 2018 5:47 pm

Are you accusing me of victim shaming or being hostile to you?

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:10 pm

mariehart1 wrote:Are you accusing me of victim shaming or being hostile to you?

Of course she does. It's all our faults. Isn't it obvious?
She sure is positive it is.

She hates everyone, everything, herself included, and, well, eventually it gets old. That was about a month ago. It's never her fault. That too gets old. She thinks she is entitled to a limitless supply of sympathy, no one is. Her included.

When I fail to take the advice of my dad, or my Aunt Stacey, they tend to get reluctant to offer it in the future.

Why she thinks we should be a limitless supply of perpetual pity parties escapes me. She hates herself so comprehensively, why get in a snit if we decide to agree with her?

I think she should seek professional help. The problem here though is she already knows it all better than anyone that might offer it. Either that or they just want to hurt her. Or both.

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Post  MichaelaSJ on Sat Aug 18, 2018 10:12 pm

Lesley Niyori wrote:I think she should seek professional help.
But she won't, will she. Or, if she has already sought outside help, she is so smart as to out think the help being offered and refuses the help.

IAC, meh.

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Post  mariehart1 on Sat Aug 18, 2018 10:37 pm

Angelic wrote:
mariehart1 wrote:Are you accusing me of victim shaming or being hostile to you?

Yes. Sad
Ok I expected that. The problem is that I'm not. It's against my nature. I'm a person who has been in a physical fight with people. I would hit them in a way that minimised their hurt. In non physical conftrontations. I agonise about anything I say. I feel guilty about everything.
You on the other hand don't. You want me to hate you, you want everyone to hate you. If they don't you despise them. You thrive on self hate and you seek it out and constantly provoke situations that prove your illusion.
Everything you've ever posted says that.
What's sad is that is very obvious to everyone except you.
I suggest you go to 4chan or whatever that is and leave us alone. They'll hate you just like you desire.
Meanwhile you're on ignore.
I'm sorry for you. You are on a spiral of self destruction. Only you can get off it.
Deep down you know this. Meet me for coffee one day. I'll set you right.
I've known and met people like you over the years. I have a rep for calming people in person.
Online? Not so much.

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Post  mariehart1 on Sat Aug 18, 2018 10:59 pm

Lesley and Michaela, I knew that. A loaded question. I knew the answer before I asked.
But you have to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Her answer simply reflects her attitude. She had to answer yes, given her combative, self destructive mentality.

My answer to her is futile, a self indulgence on my part. Arrogantly I presume I can help by being reasonable and perhaps being empathic. It's pointless.

My godson is autistic, it's similar. When I mind him, I don' t allow ambiquity. It's black and white. We get on fine. I love him but he tires me out.
He's family, so I perservere. He'll never change. But I must love him. Angelic is not family.

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Post  mariehart1 on Mon Aug 20, 2018 10:28 pm

No reply, quelle surprise.

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