No one escapes dysphoria

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No one escapes dysphoria Empty No one escapes dysphoria

Post  Lesley Niyori on Wed Oct 17, 2018 6:25 pm

Ok, if you wish to disagree, so be it. I won't be objecting to your disagreeing, and you'll still be wrong Smile

Dysphoria (or whatever term is invented say in 6 months time), is something we as transgender people simply don't get to walk away from.

I've met transgender girls that are soooo damned good looking, but, remember, they're still transgender girls. Kim Petras, a pop singer and someone I so wish I could be like. But let's face it, she still wakes up a transgender girl. No uterus, no ovaries, and she will never get to have a baby.

Maybe that weighs on her.

I think I'm attractive in my own way. I know I can look in the mirror though, and before I get dressed and done up for going out the front door, I simply don't have what cisgender girls take for granted.

There is no day when all of this disappears entirely. It's always there a bit.

No one totally escapes from dysphoria.

My fiance woke this morning, feeling really unhappy. She had experienced some bad dreams overnight. It hit her in her dysphoria. I can try and comfort her, but, in the end, I can't make her dysphoria totally go away.

I love her totally, but, even her knowing she has a fiance has limits when it comes to dysphoria.

The only defence against it is a willingness to not tolerate it.
Refuse to listen to the voice in your head.
Actively tell it to drop dead.
You are only as beautiful as you are willing to let yourself be.

If you are suffering from dysphoria, and listening to that voice, and unwilling to accept the words of support from others, well, there's really nothing else we can do for you.

Dysphoria is a problem though for all of us.
I don't suggest anyone indulge in anyone that has elected to wallow in it like a mud bath.
I seek out only the positive.
You can't make negativity cease to exist.
But you don't have to hang out with it and offer it a place in your life as if it was welcome.

Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

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No one escapes dysphoria Empty Re: No one escapes dysphoria

Post  mariehart1 on Thu Oct 18, 2018 10:57 pm

Don't know why anyone would disagree with you as you speak the truth. If you're trans you know of what you speak.

I suppose I was gender dysphoric from an early age but had no means of understanding what was going on. I knew something was wrong early on. Why was I different? Back in the late sixties, early seventies of course as a young pubescent child. I had no idea what was going on.

Aged eleven or twelve I did have access to British Sunday tabloids here in Ireland, so I knew about 'sex changes'. Despite what many think the British red top was sympathetic to us in part because we made a good story. But the story didn't fit with my experience. Invariably the early transitioners had a good story. They 'knew' from an early age they were born in the wrong body. I don't blame them given the times but for me who didn't 'know' from an early age. I just didn't know and my desire to be a girl, to wear girl's clothes didn't fit with the narrative. I just decided I was a pervert because I like to dress as a girl. I should point out that there was no sex involved other than arousal which further confirmed my perversion. But I fervently wished to God every night that I would wake up tomorrow morning as a girl.

I could go on but it was dypshoria.

So I rationalised it and called myself a transvestite even though I knew. It was always a case of a real sense of something, a sense of loss, an aching sense of something missing. An ache I couldn't cure, an itch I couldn't scratch.

Then I accepted it and finally embraced it.

But I won't transition despite the waves of dysphoria. I can't in part because I have young boys to bring up. Ok I'm not your typical Father, I cry too much for one thing and I don't go out to work. I'm a housewife. That's my latest excuse for not transitioning.

The dysphoria never goes away. Then there's the guilt. I was born male, so why can't I be male. I know I can't. Then you have the haters, we are the only minority left people can hate. So I feel guilty for being trans, after all don't I enjoy male privilege, lucky me. Didn't we all? At least according to a well regarded British feminist, a Dame no less, who said we cannot be real women because we 'enjoyed the benefits of male privilege in our early years'. The TERFs like to point out how we can never be 'real' women as if that was a revelation to us. We know, God knows we know better than anyone. No we weren't sexually harassed, never menstruated can never have children. We know, we know. I feel guilty, we all do.

But the dysphoria never goes away. The sadness, it is sadness Dysphoria is sadness. Sadness that we can never really be the person we are even if the world was a beacon of acceptance. Even if being trans was celebrated and embraced. We can never be ourselves.

Dysphoria has no cure.


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Post  Lenneth on Sat Oct 20, 2018 3:11 am

Perhaps not, but it can at least be lessened.

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Post  Tara on Sat Oct 20, 2018 3:56 am

I find that generally, just when I think to myself that I'm feeling pretty good, and that dysphoria isn't really a thing, and I can ignore it, and make it go away, and I can get along just fine--that's when it hits me. Wham! And maybe I spin, and recover pretty quickly, but maybe I crash into a blubbering mess. Or maybe I recover, and then crash anyway.

Yeah, it's real. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know it's real for me.

~*~ Tara

"Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see." — Edgar A. Poe

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