Living (are you really doing it)

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Living (are you really doing it)

Post  Lesley Niyori on Mon Nov 26, 2018 4:12 pm

Today I saw yet another example of a Christian pastor espousing hate from the Bible and totally missing out on Jesus's teachings.

So what, the poor bastard is in for a surprise.

I heard that the GM plant in closing in Oshawa.

So what, after 20+ years not even on the bottom rung of the ladder, it's not possible for me to relate to people with nice jobs and houses.

The world is indeed full of hateful people devoted to making life for me, a transgender woman, a total hell.

So what, there's always someone eh. In the 70s it was the Warsaw Pact that scared me.

There is ALWAYS going to be dangers in your life.
How you deal with it is how you determine how you control your life.
Putting your head in the sand is an option, but one I can't support.

A lot of the fears in my life turned out to be my imagination and my inherent bias.
Paranoia often will do more harm to you than actual real dangers.

I've been out since 2014.
Net total losses, a few friends who I don't miss.
The family is mostly too far to matter. They support me, that's nice. It's not the norm. I acknowledge that. If my family had rejected me, well, I'd just not have seen them those 15 days in the last 3 years.
Sometimes we over exaggerate a potential loss, and spend too much time worrying over it, to the point we never open ourselves up to all the potential gains.

You know what, I'm NOT going to support NOT coming out over fear of losing family.
If they would leave you over being transgender, then they are not worth having. Better to know them for who they really are. Yes, that includes children. Yes I have children. So no, I'm not talking as a non-parent. Horrible sounding to you maybe, but, if I had to pick being the real me, at the risk of losing my son, I don't really get to make that choice eh. Being fake would kill me, and I'd lose the son either way.

Friends, no friend is worth having, that would ditch you. Better to know who the real ones are.
Not one job is worth having, if it would fire you for being you.
Yeah, it's better to lose a house from losing a job, than to end up committing suicide in it, from accumulated depression that made life too hard to live.

Anything you have now, you can get again after coming out and needing to start again.

I came out, the ex-wife's side abandoned me, I lost a lot of nieces and nephews.
I found my fiance D'arcy, and gained a 9 year old step son who thinks I'm neat, as well as a 13 year old daughter (who seems to like me, but, she's busy being a common teenager eh).
I gained a person that might become my new mother in law. We get along well. I gained a new sister who likes me.

From an accounting perspective, man, I've really totally scored.
I lost a few useless friends who were lousy people and gained more solid friends than I can count.

I'd have never gained all of the good if I had cowered in my closeted reality.
I wouldn't be enjoying being real.
I'd still be stuck in the wrong body with the wrong parts.
I'd look like crap whenever I went out.
And I wouldn't have the wonderful social life I have.
I'd be alone, in my apartment. Actually, no, I'd be fucking dead long ago.
The wife wanted the separation from him, not me.
This is 2018 and I would not have lived 4 years of alone and fake.

I can accept anyone of you guys as being exactly who you say you are.
But no, I can't support staying in the closet.
It's the same as not responding to suicidal talk.
Saying you might lose family, and friends, and work, and a house, those are not sufficient reasons to continue putting you at risk of becoming part of the 40% that end it all given enough time.
Because doing nothing, staying in the closet, only serves to make you the lead candidates for the 40%

I don't want hear about how hard it is to look 'pretty'.
I don't want to hear about your dismal chances of 'passing'.
It doesn't matter.
My drop dead gorgeous cisgender female sister has had no luck finding her 'Mr Right'.
So if you haven't found someone, it isn't necessarily your looks.
It's maybe where you are looking, maybe how you are searching.

I am NOT able to 'pass' in any real useful fashion.
I'm engaged all the same.
I'd totally given up. And then it happened.
Life is like that.
I met my fiance on the street because I was out and I was visible.
I sure wasn't going to find anyone sitting at home, not being the real me.
So please, do yourself a favour, stop inventing excuses.
Stop supporting the notion you can't.
Because currently, all you are doing, is proving you won't.

Yeah yeah yeah, some places are too dangerous. Well then fucking move.
Yeah yeah yeah, we can't all afford the surgery choices.
Being real is about more than your genitals though eh.
And there ARE places you can go to where those surgery options get easier.
So if you refuse to move, then you are the problem.
Don't blame others if the barrier is actually you.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 585
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 56
Location : Lindsay Ontario Canada

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