Sharing my bottom surgery

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Sharing my bottom surgery

Post  CarolynAH on Wed Nov 28, 2018 11:30 pm

Some surgical descriptions follow... be careful.

Out of the blue my company added transgender care to our insurance this year... that little bit broke the last bits of what was holding me back.  After checking with some girls both local and online and sticking to west coast surgeons I ended with Dr. Ley who works with and in Dr. Meltzer's office in Scottsdale, AZ.  Most of the information I found was about Dr. Meltzer but Dr. Ley had far better availability, was clearly competent, and a transwoman which was nice.

The first phase of my surgery happened October 23.  What their office calls vaginoplasty. To be followed if I want by a labiaplasty in six months (scheduled for March 27).  Basically at this point I have no clitoral hood and limited to no inner labia.  To them this is important as everyone's skin and body reacts differently and to get the most natural and healthy results giving the body and blood flow time to recover on the major bits helps and the second phase gives them a chance to do revisions on those parts if necessary.   I don't know but their careful approach appealed to my anxieties over this which was my first major surgery for anything.   And Dr. Ley was while still very much a surgeon understanding and often more patient with my questions.  (We had an amusing conversation about life with dilators as I looked at my kit and was like dilator #4 no way!  She was like you will see you had plenty of "material" to work with and I was able to get you more than many. Look at me I am smaller than you and have been at a #4 for awhile and am looking to go to a #5 which has to be ordered. My eyes went wide as I looked at the #4 imagined #5 and was like oh goodness!)  

Am I happy I did it?  Maybe,  like right now I am worried about developing a UTI.  But it is difficult to tell because sensation is still hard to fully localize and most of what I think I am feeling is my clitorus annoyed with having stitches still and the stitches around the urethra finally going away leaving sensitive skin behind.  It is fascinating you talk to men and loosing their penis sounds like a the worst sort of death sentence imaginable and having grown up in that space I sit here with a Tolkienesque "I am no man" satisfaction as I thrust a sword deep into the ghostly remains of my masculinity.


Last edited by CarolynAH on Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

CarolynAH

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Re: Sharing my bottom surgery

Post  Lesley Niyori on Thu Nov 29, 2018 12:54 am

An interesting read as I am post-op since May 2017 now, and I'm only just now doing some things.
Granted, some things don't just happen, even if you'd like it to happen.

My mentor said "you will NOT engage in sex earlier than 6 months" to me, and she sure meant it.
I'd suggest you heed that. Explore, but keep the men out of your new vagina. Your clitoris, likely will not be 'interested' for quite a while. I was told not to expect anything for a year.

Most of your first month sounded similar. But I am unsure if your vaginoplasty was an identical methodology to mine. I had all the options in one surgery down there. I didn't need to return. I also had breast augmentation. Nothing like being totally sore on the first day eh.

Dilating is a chore. I was told 4 times a day for 3 months. Heck, just twice a day seems intrusive. A year later, and it will be as fun as the housework. It never ends up feeling like sex. And yeah, I had a 2/3/4 set, and 2 seemed 'ordinary size' 3 was 'large' and 4 to me was "I ain't interested in a man that big. I don't even want to think about a 5.

If you go on YouTube, Jessie Gender (she's one of us), has the best take on new vaginas and orgasms. I recommend it. Watch it where the dialogue won't be shared though hehe.

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Re: Sharing my bottom surgery

Post  CarolynAH on Thu Nov 29, 2018 5:16 am

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Last edited by CarolynAH on Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:24 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Sharing my bottom surgery

Post  Lesley Niyori on Thu Nov 29, 2018 12:22 pm

I had my bottom surgery done in Montreal by Dr Pierre Brassard. Busy guy as he does most of Canada it seems Smile He certainly has had the practice eh Smile

My BA was done there as well. Almost no evidence it was done (which is what ya wants). I went with a modest increase. Could have gone larger. But when he asked me "so how big do you want to be?" I replied with, "well, I'd like it if my bra was filled with just me finally."

One thing I learned early enough on, is to accept that while boobs are mainly for the observer, it's a rare woman that doesn't wish to be observed eh. At the beginning of my transition, I thought a lot of stupid thoughts. In the very beginning, I actually wondered what the big deal was about bathrooms. Little did I realize, eventually I will look like a female, and NO, it would not matter if I could still pee standing, the men's room is not for women. I simply had to learn the basic realities of being female. And one of those basic realities, is women have boobs Smile If you don't have much to put in your bra, you'll learn soon enough, most woman's clothing fits and looks better if you have boobs worth mention. Yeah, sure, some women are flat. I would not want to be asked to locate 10 women that liked being flat though. I almost wish I had asked for a size bigger. Oh well, my fiance is always telling me how much she likes what I have Smile

I didn't get to 'enjoy' sex for about a year and a half. Which was mainly because A. I was avoiding it (entirely personal reasons, nothing to do with recovery), and B. I had no one interested in having it with me (I was not interested in masturbating, related to reason A here).

Even today, I don't seem to get a single thrill out of touching myself. I'd be worried if not for the fact, that my fiance is plenty able to convince me that something sure happens down there when SHE touches me. And the first time I encountered a vibrator down there (she was using it on me), I almost shot off the bed through the ceiling Smile But I'm wondering still "what does an orgasm actually feel like?" as I am not sure I have had one. I might have experienced one, and simply not realized it (yes, an odd sounding comment). The thing with male orgasms is it's hard to fake ejaculation eh.

Anyway, my mentor, also a transgender female that is post-op, told me she had penetrating vaginal sex at 3 months, and she got damaged as a result. Which is why she was so positive about just waiting on it. But my recovery instructions did mention it was a good idea to 'explore' myself after a few months. The thing with our vaginas is well, you've been already having 'penetration' since the beginning during dilation. So it's not that you can't put something in it, it is more like you need to be careful who is putting what in it and how enthusiastically it's being done.
The more you dilate, and the more often you dilate, and the larger the dilator you use, the more likely your vagina is going to be ready for a rambunctious partner I guess.

I should mention, I have not as of this time, had penetrating sex. And my fiance being female, I'm not expecting to do so much either.

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Re: Sharing my bottom surgery

Post  CarolynAH on Thu Nov 29, 2018 2:13 pm

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Last edited by CarolynAH on Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:24 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Sharing my bottom surgery

Post  Lesley Niyori on Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:37 pm

Yep, when I crossed that line into full acceptance and I was on HRT, I made the decision that sex just wasn't going to happen in any fashion where that thing was part of the picture.

It was utterly dysphoric.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 589
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