Sharing my bottom surgery

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Wed Mar 20, 2019 3:58 pm

Excellent post dear. Screams out loudly that you've been there.

I wish there were a few more YouTube videos with similar content because there simply isn't enough of us post-op transgender girls talking about our reality.

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Post  CarolynAH on Wed Mar 20, 2019 4:31 pm

https://youtu.be/TDOtejnYWAU

This is my favorite.

Dilation... The general gist is girl don't even think about skipping in the first three months. It's best to extend that to the first six to a year but after that it just depends on what you want. You need to do it or slowly loose depth and girth you can take but if you don't throw out your kit you can work your way back up if you were not too much of a slacker.
And I am of the opinion that sex doesn't count unless you consider holding dildos inside you and against the back of your vagina sex.
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Wed Mar 20, 2019 7:35 pm

Yeo, my best sex only requires my fiance to wander around anywhere from belly button to knees hehe. There are other fun places too of course. I never thought I'd giggle so much from having my toes licked.

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Post  CarolynAH on Wed Mar 20, 2019 8:03 pm

Hmm... I have less experience there. I know I am very sensitive all around there but we didn't play much down there on me because I didn't like some things pre-op and post we kinda stopped everything short of hugs and kisses because he had his own troubles. Up top, sure... I can get breast orgasms all day though they do get tender eventually with a partner.
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Post  CarolynAH on Wed Mar 27, 2019 8:02 pm

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Last edited by CarolynAH on Sat Apr 20, 2019 12:40 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Clearing images)
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Post  CarolynAH on Wed Mar 27, 2019 8:06 pm

So the question really becomes... Does this count as my proper v-day or is October when I had phase one the day?
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Thu Mar 28, 2019 1:19 am

Interesting question.

My mentor, my aunt Stacey, needed revision surgery. But I think she would say it was the date of her first surgery.

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Post  CarolynAH on Thu Mar 28, 2019 3:56 am

Well, mine is not technically a revision though the surgeon does use the opportunity to revise anything that needs it.

I have not peeled back the dressings to look yet but just how things are laying looks better. I am actually kind of excited. I have seen some really good work by this team and I am hoping it helps with some of my anxiety and nervousness when people see what I have down there. I found it interesting that in my pre-op exam my surgeon was like you have a large clitoris but we can work with that. Imy head I was a bit like... You made.me this way I didn't pick "the big one" from the clitoris storee
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Post  CarolynAH on Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:00 pm

Oh goodness!
I have a big labia minora. Like exposed outside my outer labia big. The surgeon says she has to go "bigger" because things shrink as they heal. I am so excited... Not about the size but the result is more than I expected even ugly and still bleeding I look look down and see a vagina. I am curious if things will be more pink in there now which would be a great bonus.
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Post  CarolynAH on Sat Apr 06, 2019 11:37 am

The surgical bruising is about a a quarter of it's maximum size and swelling and bruising on the labia minora is gone and the finest stitches are starting to dissolve and fall out.

As to structure and form. I feel it's far too early to be critical. But if I had to do detail my feelings this moment now that I am more calm.

The bad and the soso...
I love symmetry but at this point I am not though it's acceptable. And barring someone making me feel judged I am okay with it
I know that my surgeon was trying to avoid any damage to the sensitive nerves around my clitoris but that avoidance I think prevented her.from fully bringing the start of the labia minora under and fully blended into it.
I feel like she made me LM a bit too large to the point of being externally visible with my legs closed around my vaginal opening. In my.limited experience they tend to be larger near the urethra and vestibule area but again not a huge deal and if years from now it bothers.mme it's better to have more to work with than less
While things are without s doubt still healing and swollen with plenty of healing to get through. The LM and hooding still seems overly thick
My clitoris from my vaginoplasty came out positively huge like early transguy testosterone effects and turned on big. That I thunk made the hooding trickier to construct. It's not bed to be sure but aspects of it seem a bit rough, thick, and imperfectly blended.
The post op labia massage and hygiene rules are annoying. And the dilation during is less comfortable. Though telling me to start over at the smallest was a waste of time after only a three day break

The good...
It tightened my vulva and outer labia up wonderfully. I am so happy about this as it looks near perfect now and the tension made my outer scars invisible for now. Even completely shaved.
Whatever she did totally fixed my "sprinkler issue".
Even this early and angry stage there is signs of sensation in the traumatized areas. I might have a pathetic libido compared to most but I still cling to the hope of being able to fully enjoy myself for the first time in the loving care of a partner.
Pain was nearly non existent. Though the load of the stress and physical recovery has me tired easily.



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Post  CarolynAH on Sat Apr 13, 2019 8:20 pm

Okay, a small update.. my surgeon sent me a perscription for a steroid cream to get rid of the granulation tissue inside my vagina. Basically you put it on the dilator in a thin even coating and try to make sure it gets transferred as much as possible. About two to three times a week. And then you start using a wound care paste called medihoney between sessions.

To anyone who has to do this... Be prepared to bleed and occasionally have more than blood come out. It shouldn't be more than the "dark pink" level. But have pads ready unless you hate your clothes and need an excuse to replace them.

Emotionally, I know I sound like a worrywart. But I find myself strangly emotional about blood from there. Mostly I think it's just me wanting to get past surgery, recovery, and complications. To start to feel normal, to not be so worried or guarded about my "new parts".

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Post  CarolynAH on Mon Apr 15, 2019 6:40 pm

Aww crud.... The apartment guys came to inspect my place and I had left my dilator, wipes, and lube on the nightstand. Oh goodness I am so embarrassed. Embarassed

Sometimes I wonder how people see that stuff, if that affirms my identity or marks me as trans. I know the TSA agents who keep inspecting them quickly become very careful though the women seem far less interested.

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Post  MichaelaSJ on Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:02 pm

CarolynAH wrote:But have pads ready unless you hate your clothes and need an excuse to replace them.
I know that some transwomen wish they could experience everything female, but...

I was walking down a mall many years ago behind a woman and notice the crotch area of her pants totally soaked. What was weird is that the woman didn't seem to notice.

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Post  CarolynAH on Mon Apr 15, 2019 10:05 pm

MichaelaSJ wrote:
I know that some transwomen wish they could experience everything female, but...

If I was younger so I might actually have a chance at having kids, was at least two decades before having to face menopause, it didn't require lifelong immune suppression, or be dangerous for the baby. Sure. It's hard to explain beyond a emptiness and desire that like dysphoria is not rational or able to be argued away completely. But I also can satisfy myself with my kids to some extent. And while I am dreaming of impossible things i kind of wish it was possible to engineer a part of you to make estrogens and progestins naturally at the right levels. So there would be no need for injections or pills. Just to make it harder for this to ever be taken away from me.

But yes, cramps, cancer, ovary issues, endometriosis, bleeding for days... Not fun.. but one would get used to it. And I suspect in a way similar to how I feel after bottom surgery a shared experience with the women in my life. Not a great one... But misery loves company and Ben and Jerry's needs to make money somehow.

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Post  MichaelaSJ on Tue Apr 16, 2019 12:49 am

CarolynAH wrote:But yes, cramps, cancer, ovary issues, endometriosis, bleeding for days... Not fun.. but one would get used to it.
My Wife couldn't get used to an elected to have a partial hysterectomy. She is perfectly happy not having the monthly pain and mess.

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Post  CarolynAH on Tue Apr 16, 2019 1:28 am

MichaelaSJ wrote:
CarolynAH wrote:But yes, cramps, cancer, ovary issues, endometriosis, bleeding for days... Not fun.. but one would get used to it.
My Wife couldn't get used to an elected to have a partial hysterectomy. She is perfectly happy not having the monthly pain and mess.

Oh I get that, and I am sure once they served my needs I would want to do something similar if it was an option. I never said it makes sense. Periods suck... I have seen Liam suffer for over a month of bleeding after trying to suppress his with a depo shot before he had access to testosterone. Just like I wish trans-masc bottom surgery could achieve a fully sensitive, erectile, and ejaculatory penis for them. For those who wish it, I do wish it were possible to just exchange parts. I don't pretend that I will ever be seen as anything but a transgender woman and all the fun that comes with that. And I know it's all fantasy what I am talking about here. But we are who we are, this isn't some transwoman hierarchy where being happy with how you are right now makes a person less than someone who seeks more medical alterations to feel better in their own skin. Honestly I feel like one push back at surgeries... To challenge what is driving it inside the person. Because at least to me, it feels like a slippery slope if you are struggling with seeing yourself in any sort of positive light already.
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