I made a faux pas

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Post  MichaelaSJ on Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:01 am

I was out shopping and stopped by a Levi's Store to exchange a pair of pants that were too big (too big?).

The clerk behind the counter was an attractive young individual. She was wearing male clothing, her breasts were bound, no make-up, a very male hair cut.

...and I asked her while we were alone - 'are you trans or butch'? It just came out and looking back I just wanted to share with her my transness as I wasn't feeling too put together that day.

She was taken aback a little but shortly responded with - 'no, I am a lesbian'.

I immediately apologized for asking and told her I only asked because 'I am a transwoman'. She accepted my apology and I finished by saying she was 'put together really nicely' and she thanked me.

So, I am apology to everone trans or not for asking 'the dumb and not necessary question'. Sad

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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
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Post  Celia Eriksson on Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:22 am

Oh Michaela, you don't have to apologise, you were only offering her your support. And she accepted your apology! So don't feel bad...

It is adviseable though, not to ask such a question as you know, I am sure. I'd only say something if others were giving a transgender person a hard time. It's difficult, we want to flock together, and show support, but some wish not to have it, or are affronted that we recognise that they are a sister or brother in the process of correcting to their true gender.

This time it was a lesbian, that whilst she wished to look male, was happy being female, it's why it's best not to say anything. Having said that, when people know about me, I'll happily chat about it.... endlessly!

Celia xx ( I'll stop calling ya Miki, I finally got the cartoon avator)….

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I made a faux pas Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
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Post  MichaelaSJ on Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:51 am

Thanks for letting me off gently.

The avatar is Mickey from the unbelievably well done Disney animated movie that was first shown in 1940. I likely saw the movie when I was 9 in 1956.

The cartoon character is the Sorcerer's Apprentice and he assumes the Sorcerer's gear and what he does gets him into deep doodoo. I was haunted by the scene and in some ways still haunted. It was a good lesson learned.

If you ever have a chance to see this artistic gem - go watch it!


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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Wed Jan 23, 2019 4:40 am

I have accidentally blundered myself in the past.

Was on my fiance's thread through my own account, saw someone that she was chatting with, a VERY attractive female, and never thought to think she might not be out. And she wasn't. So my mentioning how she was so damned pretty and was sure passing amazingly well was an unfortunate horrible error on my part.

I just stupidly thought a woman among many transgender people, would be out.

It's not easy to always be on guard.

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Post  mariehart1 on Mon Jan 28, 2019 5:45 pm

I personally wouldn't mind if I was outed while out as myself. As long as it was kindly.

Yesterday interestingly I was in a shopping, mall. Dundrum shopping centre in Dublin. Aside: If you like shopping and are in Dublin you MUST go there.

Retrieving the car as I paid for the parking there was a family group waiting for the lift, Mother and girls, very middle class. But one stood out, tall, skinny legs, overly made up and the teeniest of teeny skirts. I didn't want to look too closely but  my transradar went off the scale.

I'm convinced she is trans but accepted by her parents although for some reason she felt the need to overdo it. Understandable really, teenage girls are prey to this too but in middle class Dublin a hoodie top and ridiculously expensive leggings are de rigeur. The short skirts and over elaborate make up is a mark of poorer girls and in particular 'Traveller chique'.

I know this because short tight skirts that rode up when you walk were once a favourite of mine. Feminine over compensation I think.

I doubt if I'd say anything though. It would be nice if there was some kind of secret signal we could all use.

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