HRT & Effects on Orientation

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Post  Supreme_Pizza on Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:46 pm

I'm noticing a change of mind.

Seriously, I think the hormones re-wired my brain. Am I the only one?

-- edit -- family safe


Last edited by Supreme_Pizza on Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:43 pm

Weeeeeell, 27 years of hetero marriage to nowhere.

Turns out I was a woman, so the ex-wife was married to a woman even if she isn't a lesbian.

But hormone therapy turns off the interest in women early on, and BAM I want a man. So, I presumed I was a hetero just a hetero female.

But, nope, it appears that wasn't accurate either. Because I'm engaged to a transgender female. And yet, I don't actually like women, and she is one, so, it gets confusing. I learned what it is to be demisexual (we are not as well known).

I'm happily post-op, and ya know, I hear my voice, and I get those inner WTF? moments. Not dysphoria, it's just, hmm that's not a woman's voice. Sounds 'off'. But the words I use, the way I assemble a sentence, I'm clearly talking like a female. But to see me and hear me, and it's often "is that a man in a dress?" but, nope honey, I have a vagina.

As for hormones, well, if you take them you WILL change. What that change will be, will be uniquely specific to you of course. But there's no point to taking hormones if you don't want change. And plenty of it will be mental change.

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Post  Abby on Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:17 am

Your orientation it's self does not really change, but your perception of it does as you accept your self. your sexual requirements may change as male and female have different sexual patterns.

Remember their is a difference between sexual and romantic attractions and they don't always have full alignment.
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Post  Kaibeth on Mon Mar 18, 2019 9:56 am

Within limits, we don't have to be all that "family-friendly" here. At least as far as I know.

I was devotedly into females until the recent London Olympics. Men's Gymnastics flipped a switch in me. I joke with my partner that I've gone straight on her.

I think estrogen helped a little.

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Post  MichaelaSJ on Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:42 pm

I no longer consider myself a man and I want nothing to do with any man - NOTHING!

My preference has not changed, I guess I would refer to myself as lesbian and that is just fine.

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Mon Mar 18, 2019 7:13 pm

"Your orientation itself does not really change, but your perception of it does as you accept your self."

That's amusingly contradictory Smile

If your perception of your orientation changes it's then changed such that you can't say it didn't Smile

Perhaps you meant to say your 'understanding' of yourself has evolved.

I am sure I felt hetero, long before marriage, all through marriage, but, during the marriage, I noticed 'thoughts' that seemed to be contradictory to what I perceived as 'hetero' thought patterns for a male.
But then I learned I wasn't male, and the thought patterns were just female thought patterns.
But here the thing, I don't like females, sexually. I'm not a lesbian. I still like guys. Sort of.
But, I'm marrying a transgender woman. So, hmm, it means I'm not really hetero.
I learned I was demisexual. But that realization took time.

I will gladly have sex with anyone I love.
I am not interested in sex with anyone I can't specifically like though.
I like sex just fine.
I'm just not very hungry for it.
I am definitely not asexual.
Because while I might not get 'hungry' too often, I sure want it when I want it.

I experienced basically all of my evolution while taking hormone therapy.
Prior to hormones, I was stuck being a confused 'guy' with a 'woman in my head'.
Hormones killed him off, left me the sole occupant, and unlocked all the answers to what I want.
I sure didn't want a man prior to hormones.
After hormones, well I kinda wanted one bad enough to cloud my judgment for 3 years.
The only thing that saved me from some very bad choices/actions was the horrible reality of online dating (they never actually show up 99% of the time).

Hormone therapy can be quite dangerous if done alone without an outside influence (friend) being there to guard the person from some very bad inexperienced decisions.

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Post  Celia Eriksson on Mon Mar 18, 2019 8:12 pm

My orientation or preference has never changed, still men....

I did run a poll, is still going, I think... that kinda covers the subject a little, (that I know Lesley and quite a few others responded to here), and it confirmed what we all knew anyway, that some do and some don't. Something I've just thought, some cis change, used to be called 'latent', could some of them, (not all, clearly), change orientation due to dwindling amounts of respective t or e, who knows?

Celia xx

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Post  Hello_Its_Me on Fri Mar 22, 2019 11:41 am

Ive always been into girls and that hasnt changed, I do dream of sleeping with a penis...but not interested in the dick that usually comes with it. I despise men in general, prolly due to being molested by an uncle and my father being emotionally abusive. But I love girls, and Im finding more women are interested in me now than they were as a man.

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Post  Hello_Its_Me on Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:42 pm

But my brain has certainly been rewired in other ways... I love life for the first time in a bazillion years

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Post  CarolynAH on Mon Mar 25, 2019 11:00 pm

I don't believe that the hormones themselves have done anything to my orientation beyond altering my drives a little. For a man I was nearly asexual and that was driven mostly by my gender incongruence and to some extent early and significant shaming for people's assumption that I was "gay".

Opening up and accepting myself allowed me to be more open about my attractions as well as explore them directly.

Hormones, I find nearly eliminated my drive for "self love" and lowered my response to "visual stimulus". However my drive from social/emotional engagement became more intense. And I think that was because the HRT was reducing my depression and anxiety which in turn allowed me to better connect with my emotions and thus express them. I also think they intensified my experience of smells and touch. Which while it didn't have a impact on my sexuality directly it does impact who. Something about how some people feel when they touch me or just smell when I get closer can turn me off or on in far more than before.

I will also say that GCS and it's impact on my HRT has changed me as well. I am less anxious in public and finding myself more assertive in my gender and my own voice. Which is leading me to greater self discovery and awareness.

GCS and HRT also allowed me to explore repressed aspects of my desire. And I find myself going to "toy stores" and exploring myself more than I have since I was a young teenager. And feel myself becoming far more engaged with my body than I ever have even with parts and nerves that are still recovering from the surgery which has further improved desire.

Even still what I find is that no I seem to still be emotionally tepid about romantic relationships with cis men but do experience occasional physical attraction. And I remain very warm to romance with cis women but feel little physical attraction to start I think because my dysphoria is annoying and it can make me feel less confident until they make clear they are interested in me. My attractions to other transgender people is more complicated as before transition and hormones I was drawn to transgender women and only curious about trans guys. But now I find I have a preference for transgender men though if they pass easily in behavior I find myself having the same problems I do with cis gendered men.
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Tue Mar 26, 2019 3:16 pm

I might be amazingly similar to you as well Carolyn AH.

It's possible the hormones and then the GRS, made me happier to be who I really was, which might have been suppressed in earlier experiences.

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Post  CarolynAH on Tue Mar 26, 2019 7:16 pm

By the way you don't need to add AH with my name. Those are just the initials for my middle and last names.
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Post  mariehart1 on Thu Mar 28, 2019 11:28 pm

I was bisexual from the start of puberty. I was attracted to girls very strongly but also boys except in an entirely different way. My first real crush was on a boy in my class.

Broadly that has remained the same over the years. But in fact when it came to actual sex men outnumber women.

Now as I get older there is an Inexorable drift towards a preference for men over women at least sexually. That's without any hormones and no form of transition. I remain trapped in the male persona I've always lived in.
I suspect hormones with it's suppression of T would probably further deplete my sexual attraction towards women.

But despite that sex is only one part of a relationship. Many relationships are celibate. Mine is, not my choice I should add. But it remains a relationship and indeed I do love her. It's far more common than many realise.

So I don't believe your sexuality is that important really. Ultimately sex is about procreation. Love is quite another thing.

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Post  Celia Eriksson on Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:26 am

Hi Marie!!!

Yes, I have to agree with your final statement, if only the whole world held that view.... unfortunately bigotry is still being passed to children as we breathe. Well actually I generally find everything you say has good points tbh.

Oh, I wonder, should I talk of school? When I was only around seven two girls vied for my friendship, I'll only call it that for I am sure it was coz I was the smallest in the class and cute to them, I guess, and my very first non-mummy kiss was with one of them, much to the chagrin of the other. They both confronted me one day and asked which one I liked best. I still take pride in my seven year old brain's answer: I liked them both equally!

My first kiss with a boy was not too much later, around eleven and he wanted to kiss me, not vice versa at that time. Well, I enjoyed it and it happened quite a few times and I suppose we were lucky never to have got caught in those days, but we never did. I began to realise who I was. He went to public school just months later as our secondary education started and wrote me letters, that for some reason I never answered, I still feel bad about that. Amazingly, he met my most favourite cousin in England recently for she went to a junior school reunion, she passed on his e-mail and we have swapped e-mails since, he is straight and has a Thai wife, yes I wondered at first, but a female one!!!

One boy did pull my trunks down in the swimming pool as I was getting out the pool. I was around sixteen and after he pulled them down he simulated fucking me. He was a bully and I think he did it pretending to take the piss out of me in front of the dick measuring boys of our year. I have always thought that he'd wanted to do it, for obvious reasons, anyway the other boys certainly weren't laughing. I was quite upset about it.

I suppose you are bisexual Marie and if you love your wife, it must be difficult for you. I most strongly agree that it is not about sex. I like to make myself attractive to men sexually though, coz at the end of the day their needs have to be sated in a relationship. The best chance of that would be for me to be more boyish femme, my only LTRs have been so. But that simply is not me anymore and therein lies a big slimming down of prospective partners.

I just hope I don't die an old maid, a transgender one too boot.

Celia xx

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Post  mariehart1 on Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:53 pm

Oh that would be a pity Celia, personally though I'd like to die an old woman. I can't die an old maid at this point. I do believe your sexual orientation while it's important is not everything.

In reality many of us are celibate. Only this morning I was with my friend, well my wife's BFF but now my friend sitting out having coffee in town. Chatting like the two middle aged ladies we are even if I'm disguised as a man. She's celibate since she split up with her last boyfriend despite being a rather attractive woman. So am I. So is my other girl friend. Celibate I mean although yes I'm an attractive women when I try. Wink So their sexuality is a moot point. There are no men for either of them, well sane men with all their own teeth, Wink Given our unique place in the world the catchment area is indeed smaller even if sex itself is readily available. I could have a man here in half an hour. Which is hardly the point.


I never had the adventures you had in school. Although later on there were a couple of guys who called me 'cutie'. But it never went any further than that. Girls never chased me that's for sure. I was always in the 'friend zone'. Some things never change. I was celibate until I was 31 not from choice either. It was a man and I was Marie with him.


I always found getting into relationships difficult so my sexuality hardly mattered. Funny how that works.

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Post  CarolynAH on Sat Mar 30, 2019 1:17 am

I feel you all on celibacy. I consider my past relationships as lucky flukes. And I don't feel like I have much hope anymore but also feel like I need to learn to live just for myself.
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Sat Mar 30, 2019 1:58 pm

I've never been 'celibate' according to Google Smile

But I went from January 2014 to August 2018 without much in the way of any choice.

Saying I was celibate during that span, is like saying a starving person is on a diet Smile

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