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Finances likely have been sorted out Empty Finances likely have been sorted out

Post  Lesley Niyori on Thu Mar 21, 2019 7:40 pm

It's a big thing, when you get married, finances and all the stuff.

I'm getting married in October.
But, I just did all the stressful paperwork putting D'arcy on my ODSP pension.
Now, as far as my pension is concerned, D'arcy is my 'spouse' as far as my finances are concerned.

I've been dreading this meeting for about 5 months.
Likely for no good reason. But, when your financial situation is delicate, well, you stress out easily.

So, now, 2019 can just casually wander by as I see it.
Saving for a car. It's just a car.
Waiting to go out on our bikes all the time when the weather clears up around May.
We have bought our wedding dresses. Still paying them off though.
Need to drop 500 on D'arcy's divorce process and that's done.
We are buying her legal name change likely in the next few days.
My birth certificate is getting sorted out.
So that we can get the passports done up.

But it's all just things on a to-do list now.

The only portion of the year I was worried about, is now in the past.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
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Post  MichaelaSJ on Thu Mar 21, 2019 10:08 pm

This is really personal stuff and likely should not be posted on a forum.

I understand your love for this person but what I don't understand is where is her commitment to you where she puts you on her pension, her bank accounts, her real estate, he whatever?

What happens if the two of you split in a couple of years, does she still get your pension, or maybe your assets?

Have you really, really, thought out your finances, apart from love and more in line with intelligent forethought?

While I have no thoughts of ever splitting from my marriage - it would be fricking MESSY if we had to split up 43+ years of stuff.

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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
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Post  Lesley Niyori on Fri Mar 22, 2019 1:38 am

I understand your thoughts Miki.

But yes, it's personal, but yes, it's here, it's a safe place. It actually IS a safe place. It's as safe a place as anyone on this forum is ever going to get. The only thing safer is to get rid of the internet, never talk in a coffee shop, live outside of town and be an isolated hermit.

That's not me.

We are both on ODSP. She's an add on to my pension. It means my check rises 600 bucks a month. If she was single and living in the apartment next to me and on her own, she'd have the same check per month. Being married, on ODSP means, the government is saving a few bucks by not needing to pay for her rent needs and a few other considerations.

If we somehow split, it's the same as what happened with my ex-wife actually. She goes her way I go mine, and we have less financial strength apart. My ex is not going to be as well off as me.

D'arcy and me, we both have nothing in the way of 'assets' as I type. We are both just two women on ODSP who will benefit from shared strength. The margin between barely making it, and doing ok, is often a very small distance. I routinely 'get by' on my pension. And I have long known, I can feed another mouth just fine on my own pension. Clothing is simple. Thrift clothing is an easy deal and no real challenge.

We are stronger together. Being single sucks ass. I've no shortage of people I know that love the shit out of being single. Not sure what they do when they have a bad cold and feel like death warmed over. I like having a caring person during those moments. When suffering a migraine, I become quite defenseless and more or less helpless. I like knowing I'm safe with D'arcy in my life. It's just more fun doing things with a spouse. The laundry is easier, the shopping is more fun. And eating lunch alone with a teddy bear, well, it has its limits.

D'arcy and I only have one fear. And it is the same fear everyone has.
Well all eventually die.
Dad died in 2007. And mom has missed him greatly all of the last 12 years.
I'm 10 years older than D'arcy.
But I'm apparently healthier than D'arcy.
It's anyone's guess who lasts the longest.
I think we both kinda hope we both check out together if we must.
A car accident sometime in my 80s perhaps.
No one wants to die.
I sure won't like missing her if she goes first.
And no one knows their time.
I want to live a nice long marriage with D'arcy. I'm trying to beat my record of 27 years. D'arcy went 13 in her last marriage. We both seem to have really only enjoyed about 3-5 years of our marriages.

Life comes with no assurances.
But we have nothing to have need of a prenuptial agreement for that's for sure Smile
In 8 years, I become a senior citizen, and then ODSP dumps me on the federal pension system.
There's likely a similar process on that day.

D'arcy might eventually return to work. That's an unknown. Her disability is not the same as mine.
I might become a best selling author Smile
Or a lucrative artist.
Or the world might go down the shitter.
Fortunately, D'arcy is a skilled chef, and entertainer, and I am a capable teacher and woodworker and writer. All occupations, that have value in a world gone to hell. We don't need internet and electricity to have employment. We just don't have the health to enjoy it without a lot of pain.
Oh well, the main reason I'm not a teacher is the world of today is anal about pretty little pieces of paper on the wall.
200 years ago, I could have worked as a teacher just fine.

Thanks for your concerns about me though Miki. It's appreciated.

If D'arcy left tomorrow, she's got a boatload of clothing, some makeup supplies, some guitars, and related gear, and some stuffed toys.
Me, I have some used furniture, a lot of models, dolls, Barbies, Legos, romance novels, my computer and TV and a nice stash of kitchenware.
We don't have anything of meaningful value to an auctioneer.
Nothing to fight over at least.
My prized possession is Frank my teddy bear.
And D'arcy.
Neither of us would want to go on living without the other actually.
If it ended for us, it likely would kill both of us too.

D'arcy and I have something that maybe is rare in the world.
We love each other without reservation or condition.
And we actually also need each other.
She saved my life when I met her, and I pretty much saved hers.
Sounds dramatic, but it's accurate.

I can only hope what I have, can be found by others in the transgender world.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 735
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 57
Location : Lindsay Ontario Canada

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Post  MichaelaSJ on Fri Mar 22, 2019 5:12 pm

Without reservation, I wish both of you well, for a long long time.

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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
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