This is my today (feeling crummy, don't know why)

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This is my today (feeling crummy, don't know why) Empty This is my today (feeling crummy, don't know why)

Post  Lesley Niyori on Thu May 23, 2019 2:17 pm

Posted this elsewhere (Facebook).

Copying it here because typing something slightly different would be stupid.

quote
I'm feeling crappy/ill/depressed I don't know why.
I could blame stress, but I have many reasons to be happy, so why do I feel so crummy?

I have D'arcy, we are getting married. I just yesterday went and legally changed my middle name to Bunny. Might have been a dumb use of 137 bucks, but I want to be Lesley Bunny Niyori for real.

I have a sea of toys. Many Legos, and Barbies and Dolls. More models than I can likely live to make. More books than I likely will live to read.

I have many great friends.

And yet, I find myself unaccountably horrible feeling.

It's easy to blame it on being transgender, but the fact is, I don't really exist in a town that actually doesn't like me. All the horrible news always seems to be about somewhere else.
And since I unfollowed everyone, I not even seeing the news.

A stupid part of me wonders, "is my misery because I got rid of God?" I know for a FACT that my religious friends would leap on that too. No soul, no angels, no Jesus, no God, no heaven. I'll admit, there's also no thrill to that situation. Once you open Pandora's box, you can't unsee the contents. I can't unknow what I know.

Is it what's wrong with me?
I was a Christian for more than 50 years.
I was in the Server's Guild, and the Chancel Guild.
Now, well all I have is a lot of knowledge that doesn't seem to provide much comfort.
If I could delete my knowledge of the universe, I think I'd actually do it. Blissfully ignorant, is called blissfully for a reason.

I think I'd rather die believing in an afterlife than live my life knowing this is all there is. "Knowledge will set you free", needs to have "it won't always make you happy" added on to it.
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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 756
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 57
Location : Lindsay Ontario Canada

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This is my today (feeling crummy, don't know why) Empty Re: This is my today (feeling crummy, don't know why)

Post  Celia Eriksson on Thu May 23, 2019 4:04 pm

Oh Lesley,

I am sure tomorrow will be a better day. Chin up! Think of the good things! Have something to eat that you really desire! Watch a happy movie with D'Arcy! Go buy some stuff, a bit of retail therapy!!!! I bought a lump of Lladro today I knew was not worth the price, but I liked it and now a Lladro Pigeon sits proudly upon a sideboard!!! Have a superbical, relaxing bubbly bath with your favourite music and pamper, pamper, pamper!!!!!!

The world is a good place with lots of good people in it! So Lesley Bunny Niyori, I love that name! It's so cool!!!!!, be very happy with that choice!!!! cheers

Celia xx

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This is my today (feeling crummy, don't know why) Mtm
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
Celia Eriksson
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Posts : 1053
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Age : 58
Location : Surrey, England

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