Big Plans coming after wedding

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Mon Aug 26, 2019 12:05 pm

Well, nothing is going to top getting married of course, but, after having our friend Samantha visit over the weekend, we have hashed out plans to probably move as a group (Samantha as well as D'arcy and me) to nearby Peterborough.

My preferred choice is to co rent a house. We will have the needed funds to do this. Doesn't need to be an awesome house, but houses do usually come with a backyard and a basement. Maybe a garage. Which means a place to store junk, a place to enjoy sunsets and a place to run a table saw Smile

Not to mention grass to cut and a driveway to shovel. But I like the homey stuff weirdly enough hehe.

We need 2 bedrooms. Sam works from home on a computer. I'd like a hobby space. A nice kitchen is really just an average space really. And a living room. Most houses manage this easy. So I will probably be spending winter 2019 looking for a spring 2020 option. It's all about cash threshold eh. 700 gets you a room. 800 gets you a shitty apartment. 900 gets a reasonable apartment. 1000 if you are lucky nets you a whole house. But chances are we need to be willing to pay 1500. We figure we can amass 1500 with the three of us.

My ONLY worry, is the physical and emotional drain. Moving, anywhere, even across the driveway here, cost me 2 years of stress and strain before I had recovered. This time, I will be forced to let hired hands move my stuff. Last move was my last move where I did the work. I'll put things in boxes, but that's it. Healthy men will do all the work this time. All of it. I'll hold doors and supervise.

I will be leaving behind the only town I've really ever known, really. 5 years in Quebec where I was born barely count. And 4 years in Toronto was just an extended shopping trip in the late 80s.

I will be leaving behind a lot of friendly faces of my transition years. I will not mind leaving behind the bad memories of people who can die unnoticed. I will be leaving behind HIM. I will be moving to Peterborough as Bunny. And I likely will leave behind any acknowledgment he ever existed. I'll be leaving behind a town that has mostly disappeared under the developer's bulldozer and earth movers blade. I am hoping my son doesn't stay in this town overly long. I suppose I won't need to ponder the ex-wife any further as I suspect I won't be likely to ever walk past her again. My family left this town almost 20 years ago when mom and dad moved to Ottawa. Mom came back for a bit. But mom and dad have passed away. I will be leaving behind a few stages in life. Church experiences. Teen years and previous marriage experiences. All the odd weird shit memories of his past. I will be leaving a landlord that's actually someone I will miss. Almost 15 years of no rent increases ever. Repairs done promptly. And he's a friend.

I have only one person I regret leaving in town. My young preteen transgender female friend Bailey who considers us aunties and looks up to us. I will probably find ways to visit her.

But me, I would rather have a quiet house out in the country, although D'arcy is going to slowly go insane in this limiting town. She needs a real nightlife. And Lindsay is only good for storing old people until they die, and giving people who work elsewhere a place to sleep. That and some big box stores to sell supplies to cottage country living. There's nothing much here. You can circulate through the entire towns retail needs each day. One grocery chain location, one post office, one bank location, 3 retail spots and a couple of thrift stores. A few dollar stores and your preferred coffee spot. Favourite salon, bookstore, and hobby store. Favourite fast food and preferred better eatery. It's like there really isn't much to choose from. The entire town is a nice walk in width. I don't really need the bus even in bad weather. Ahh yes, buses. I won't miss this town's pretense at being a city and it's non-existent real genuine credible long-range transportation options.

I'm going to like living in a place too big to see all of without a massive effort. More than a few retail choices, a real nightlife potential, or the means to travel to the big smoke of Toronto without a lot of convoluted planning. And not being the only fucking transgender person visibly present.

I'm planning to introduce myself as Mrs. Niyori Wells, and not make any effort to mention I'm transgender or married to another transgender woman. When I mention my son, I'll let them think I gave birth to him, and that my spouse is a man. I'm not going to quit our community. But, I'm not going to shove it in a strangers face if I will not be in their life 20 seconds later. I want to just be an ordinary female while out in public passing by. Bland and not worth noticing. I'll pursue radio, and TV, and newspapers when not doing Youtube if it is to be. But that person behind me at McDonald's or the bank or grocery store doesn't need to be told I'm not cisgender.

This move will be me finally discovering my freedom from 'him'.
It's what 'I'm' getting out if it.

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I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
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Post  CarolynAH on Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:47 am

I wish you joy and good fortune on this next phase of your journey!
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Post  Celia Eriksson on Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:49 am

Hi Lesley!

May I be the the first to wish you the very best with your move and I applaud everything that you say. So do not stress, let the hired hands do their stuff! It's what you pay them for! Taking the stress off of you.

Don't feel sorry for them at the other end either, make sure they put the stuff where you want it to be, takes a little planning, but trust me that will help a lot!

Also, at your own convenience, so you don't get stressed, make a list of all the suppliers ya need to telephone ya know electric, phone, internet etc., and do it it at your own pace, for nothing worse than phoning them last minute!!!!

Yes, moving is stresssful, but there are many ways to make it easy..... I used to move lots so if ya want more tips on anything, ask away! Take care hun,

Celia xx

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Post  xfortran on Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:58 am

It sounds like a good choice and you have things to look forward too.

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