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Post  CarolynAH on Fri Oct 25, 2019 9:23 pm

Even I forgot the exact day and missed it. It has been a year and two days since my big surgery. It is funny how life just sort of moves on with you hardly noticing it's passage. I don't remember at all what it was like before. I have a old physical picture of me years ago giving my son a ride on my shoulders. I don't recognize that person anymore. I guess this is what transition looks like. I get a couple of men each week seeking to be my "friend" on Facebook. I make friends with women easily and am remembered often by name in the places I go. I am trying to decide if I should start a antianxiety /depression med to get me out of this jobless funk and to start taking charge of this new chapter in my life. But I am afraid of the cost to me or what I might be like without these feelings. Facing change is scary. Sometimes we need help and I have been so fortunate to have so many good people.
CarolynAH
CarolynAH

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Post  mariehart1 on Sun Oct 27, 2019 12:59 am

Do you really need meds? If they suppress your real feelings. Are you the real you?
Life is tough for everyone. Most of us get by without meds. Well maybe with wine. 

I think medication is the last resort. 

I know from experience that it all passes. No matter how intense in the short term.

You are the person who gave your son a ride on your shoulders in that picture years ago.  You are not there as a man but he is. I just tucked my sons into bed right now. I'm their Daddy. My sense of myself is irrelevant, Daddy tucked them in. 

Don't lose the feelings. You are the feelings. 

Damm the men. This is about you. Jobless funk? 

What do you WANT? 

You're a woman now. Drugs won't help. 

You are a complete person now. A woman. 

It's tough being a woman. Welcome to the real world.

mariehart1

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Post  mariehart1 on Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:12 am

As I said to my sister recently. If I can call myself a woman then I can cope because that's what women do. We cope and we put up with crap that men simply don't get.
Being trans we have an extra bit of crap to tolerate even when when surgery removes the physical evidence. 

Remember the good people like my sister and her total acceptance. I'm sure you have similar.

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Post  CarolynAH on Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:27 am

Oh the irony, I just bought a strap on that I plan to surprise my girlfriend with. (She has her own, and since they require adjustment I figured one that fits my frame would make things easier and more spontaneous.) This is something that I never thought I'd be able to do but here I am.

I love going places where the most exciting thing is being open about my sexuality and sharing pictures of me with my girlfriend even in a less than queer friendly part of town. This assistant that I have met was showing me a fancy wearable vibrator and essentially rattling off the marketing when she mentioned that if I bend it like some way it can be shared and used to stimulate my partner's prostrate. I am like umm... No prostrates in my life and laughed. (Not technically true, I still have a atrophyed bit left which is used as the nerves for my g spot but she doesn't need that. And mostly I want it for a planned wild night out soon.)
CarolynAH
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Post  Michi on Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:42 am

How long did it take to heal so you could be physically active in sports, like tennis? I made an appointment to meet a surgeon January 14th. It's not the UW surgeon but one in the Milwaukee area. I heard she did surgeries but nothing was on her plastic surgeon website so I called and indeed the she does. I'll have to get a list of questions for the consultation. Hopefully everything works out with insurance it looks like it was added to my policy and I have open enrollment at the end of the month but supposedly there are no changes.

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Post  CarolynAH on Tue Nov 19, 2019 1:44 am

Active is a hard thing to answer because so much depends on you and how your surgery goes. The short answer is that give up on anything before a month post. You will be absolutely drained from healing and anesthesia at a minimum. And even if you are mostly pain free you are going to be getting tired faster than you are used to. My recommendation is don't sit at home doing nothing but stick to slowly increasing your activities. I would expect that you should be fine by twelve weeks. Improving core strength before surgery and eating healthy after with plenty of easily digested protein and foods that reduce inflammation will help. As to questions ask if they use a one or two stage method and what sort of hospital stay, duration, and follow ups, and after care to expect. What to do if granulation tissue or other healing issues occur. If you encounter difficulties with urinating what to do. Etc.
CarolynAH
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Post  Michi on Tue Nov 19, 2019 3:16 am

Thank you

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