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Life happened, still is, likely will continue to happen

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Life happened, still is, likely will continue to happen Empty Life happened, still is, likely will continue to happen

Post  Lesley Niyori Fri Mar 12, 2021 5:24 pm

Yeah, I'm back.

A lot of life has happened to me.
Not all good, not all bad.
The future, it's just the future. Some days it looks a bit bright, and then some days it looks like a storm is brewing.
Ok, enough cryptic crap.

Let's try and rewind, assuming anyone is even interested.

So, 'I' began something like 2012. Before that, 50 years were wasted by the former inhabitant of this body. He's long gone. I don't even remember him. If I wanted to show you him, I couldn't. Got rid of evidence he ever existed years ago. I don't do flashbacks.

I'm going to be 9 end of the month. That's not me selectively counting, I have no prior memories further back than 2012. It isn't a lot of laughs, no act. Most of you know the story. Next year I reach 60 years inasmuch as this body is concerned. I'm not excited to be a 10-year-old mind in a 60-year-old body.

A lot has happened since I last posted. And some big things did NOT happen. And some big things might yet happen.
My mother passed away. I miss her. But oddly, I didn't suffer as much as when my father passed. But then, it was him who missed dad. He never knew me. Mom hardly knew me as well. I feel kinda alone these days.
I have nearly no reason to go to Ottawa now. And covid killed Christmas last year too.
Add to that, for some unknown reason, I have lost contact with my son. I tried to give him a birthday gift last year in July. He was not around. I have not heard a peep since. Not even so much as seen him outside the window walking past.
So now, it seems like I have no family nearby either.
I still talk to my brother on the phone. Very rarely. But it's not the same.
I feel very alone, and covid has trashed all my social contacts.
I used to walk 5 miles a day. I'm lucky if I go f 5 miles in a month sum total.
There's really nowhere other than the grocery store on the next block to go to.

I am healthy, and I have spent most of a year isolated. The pension arrives. I am safe. It's wearing thin.

The only thing keeping me sane, and breathing still, is D'arcy.

I was supposed to get married in a big gala event in October. 3 days before the wedding, in something of a massively damaging experience, it all fell apart. I have a beautiful wedding dress. Unsure I will ever wear it.
It was horrendously hard on me, and brutally hard on D'arcy.
But, against the odds, we found each other again.
And we suffered through two horrible moments in the spring of 2020.
And then, weirdly, covid actually saved our relationship.
Because I couldn't handle D'arcy being alone, at her place in Peterborough, in a sweltering nearly fatally hot apartment coping with covid isolation.
We gradually rebuilt our mangled relationship, stuck cooped up in my apartment.

It has been repaired enough, that we have renewed our intention to get married. Soon. Maybe in July. A justice of the peace thing, and maybe, a fancy ceremony for our first anniversary.

So, I'm not dead, covid has not gotten me yet.
I'm 97% cured of an obsession with the news. Thanks to the election, and everything connected to it. I'm calling it a win, as I see it. I think the US will be a long time recovering. I wish them well. I'm glad the transgender community can breathe a bit easier for a while down south. I hope it comes to more than that of course. There's more to deal with in the US, than the needs of the transgender community.

My life's focus has increasingly become, my desire to distance myself from an obsession with all things transgender. I want to just be a Canadian caucasian female, no other labels if possible.
I'm dreaming of one last name change. MRS. Lesley Bunny Niyori Wells. And for some time now, my middle name, which is Bunny has been my preferred manner of address. So when you say hello, if you can address me as Bunny.

The only things that matter to me these days are, make the train layout in the storage room. get back into wargaming as if life depended on it Smile and get back to painting landscapes. When the weather permits it, ride my bike every danged day possible. And that's about the size of it.

I have no great transgendercentric ambitions. Mainly because stuck here as I am in Lindsay, in the middle of nowhere Central Ontario (might as well be Montana), there are no groups to join, no urban population to interact with, surrounded by seniors, cottage country, and I'm within sight of becoming one of those seniors myself.
I'm going to leave rebuilding society to the under 30 crowd.

I'm boring you right?

Since my departure a long way back, I encountered 2 really nicely developed transgender forums. Both turned out to be dismal clique-centric paradises for the sort I'd rather not know.
What is it with people?
Yes, I'm transgender, it doesn't mean I'm automatically your friend. It doesn't mean you are automatically a benefit to the transgender community. You are also not required to become a vocal supporter of the damned acronym. I hate the letters LGBTwhatever other things are being added on. I'm a T. Nothing else. I realize T isn't much of an acronym. Well, the thing is, it isn't an acronym.
And I'm tired of labels. Tired of pronouns. Tired of causes. Tired of being PC. Tired of worrying if I have offended.

So I have become something of a politically incorrect non political, human female atheist.
I don't much care if you are left or right, Rep or Dem, Lib or PC (in Canada), religious, queer or straight, cis or transgender person.
I don't want to know your politics, or beliefs, or sexuality, or gender, or pronouns to a point.
I'll use your name if I know it. Otherwise, I'm picking my best guess.

I must be boring by now eh Smile

It took me a few minutes to find ya on Google again.
Hoping this isn't a lapse of reason.
I've had those before Smile

I've missed ya Celia.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 945
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 59
Location : Lindsay Ontario Canada

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Post  MichaelaSJ Fri Mar 12, 2021 6:24 pm

Welcome back, girlfriend.

Sorry to hear about your mom, glad to hear you are patching things up with D'arcy.

Hopefully, you'll be able to walk forever when the weather turns to warmer and you get vaccinated.

The U.S. will recover, slowly as you indicated, but it will recover if we can educate the 74 million who voted for Tr**p into reality. I still have visions of that young woman being shot in our Capitol Building simply for being stupid in thinking she could over-throw an election.

Again...welcome back!

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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
“lifelong atheist, not afraid of burning in hell,” Ron Reagan FFRF
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Post  Lesley Niyori Fri Mar 12, 2021 7:11 pm

Thanks for the welcome.

If I was a brat earlier, offers of apology.

I haven't been entirely consistent for hmm I guess my entire life.

But I suppose I've reached that transgender moment when being transgender is no longer as demanding as it used to be.

Close to 5 years since my surgery. Life has gotten 'ordinary' I suppose.

These days, I'm just trying to make friendships, that want to be friends with me the person, and not one of my supposedly important labels.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
Lesley Niyori

Posts : 945
Join date : 2018-05-18
Age : 59
Location : Lindsay Ontario Canada

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Post  Celia Eriksson Sat Mar 13, 2021 6:00 pm

Hi Bunny,

Great to have you back, missed you too. I have not had a lot of time online lately, for I am moving home and there is so much on my mind I am in a spin. The packing seems endless, but I am nearly there.

I will be offline for a while anyway, for I shall have to set up my internet once moved which may take a while and I don't have a lot of time at the moment either with all this stuff going on, though I will spend an hour online for catching up here and my mail too. Monday I am dreading for it will be phone call day, all the people that need to be told!!!!!

As I say, welcome back dear Bunny!

Celia xx

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Life happened, still is, likely will continue to happen Mtm  Life happened, still is, likely will continue to happen Ancestralnewhomeandrespectednations-2Life happened, still is, likely will continue to happen Kickitout                                                          
Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.
Mary Tyler Moore (1936-2017).
Celia Eriksson
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Post  Maple Tue Apr 13, 2021 2:44 am

Hey Lesley,

I know exactly how you feel about a lot of that stuff. Like you, I just want things to settle and just be a human being instead of all this focus on labels and the collateral damage that seems to accompany it these days.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a good discussion on a wide range of subjects. I just don't care for what has passed for that over recent years.

Life happens, I fully agree with you. Strangely, I have been able to see and appreciate the beauty that is life; and that beauty is more beautiful with that mud included in it.

I'm so glad for you and D'arcy being back together and making things work again as you stated. I can almost relate as I have been living with my other half that I have searched for all my life for the past 3+ years now. Damn I love my Skippy so much.

Anywho, it's nice to meet you and see that others are doing well or better.

Maple

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"Opinion is really the lowest form of Knowledge. It requires no accountability and no understanding.
The Highest form of knowledge is Empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world."
-????
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