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Post  Lesley Niyori Wed Mar 17, 2021 4:03 pm

As I have become more and more and more post anything, surgery etc I find myself becoming more and more annoyed by a lot of things.

Transgender trending. Some are not really transgender, but, it's so cool to them. Yes, I know, why would anyone want to fake being me?

Genuine. Some people are as fake as the day is long. Yep, that CAN include actual transgender persons. Some people are just incapable of being genuine. But that's a human thing. Some people just want the attention.

Snowflake. I'm learning to really hate that word. It apparently not limited in targets. It's a slur you aim at anyone who disagrees with you. When I was young, we were ok with just calling a person a stupid asshole.

Cancel culture. Another term I hate truly. When I was young, we used the phrase "no I'm not, you are." It was the same reason, we simply wanted to have an opinion, and not require justification. All we wanted to do, was cancel out the other voice.

I'm too old for a lot of the shit in media today.

The best defense against transphobia is one that worked equally well when I was younger. "Fuck off!!" It's amazingly effective. Someone objects to you using the lady's restroom, "Fuck off" spoken angrily. Someone refuses to use your correct pronouns, "It's she you asshole!" Someone insists you are not female, "Fuck off asshole!"

Now for physical defense, the matter gets more complicated. Ordinary cisgender people get attacked and robbed too. Cisgender women need defense against rape as well. It's not like physical violence only happens because you are transgender. I am no bully target. But, alone, at night, I might not be obviously a transgender female. I might look like a cisgender female target too. If I have to go somewhere at night, in the dark, yes, I'm thinking of the very sharp knife I carry with me.

My being transgender, is like being white in late-night Harlem. It's like being white and English-speaking in Japan. It's a detail. It's not the only one. I am disabled. Causes me more trouble actually. I'm in a 60-year-old body. Very limiting. I'm Canadian, generally a plus. I live in a small rural town. Depends on which detail you are mentioning. Not easy as a transgender person. Not so bad if you are a senior. Not even relevant when you consider I'm white.

There's a lot of the modern media world that simply isn't worth shit to me.
I'm not really interested in big-city life issues.
Politics are different in small-town Canada, then they are in very urbanized American cities.
Police are not much of a detail to white small-town Canadians.
Race issues are not the same in small-town Canada.
Not that they don't exist.

I am a very well-known, very visible transgender female, who is obviously not a child, or a teen or a young adult. I've been told I'm inspiring to the few persons I know in town who are transgender. They tell me I make life safer, just by being me casually. That I 'normalize' what being transgender is. I go about my day as if being transgender isn't worthy of mention.

Not all men are bad.
Not all Christians are bad.
Not all cisgender are bad.
Not all Lesbians hate transgender females.
Not all gay men hate transgender men.

Not all transgender persons are really transgender. Not all transgender allies are really of any value to me. Some are just loners seeking a cause. Some are just seeking to enjoy the attention regardless of how potentially bad an idea it might be.

Not all snowflakes are really deserving the slur.
Not all of 'cancel culture' is actually anything more than people saying "Fuck you" to something they don't like or agree with.
And some people are just miserable failures at being genuine.

I am of course, not a trend. Transgender isn't new at all. It isn't hundreds of years ago, it's thousands of years ago. The only thing new, is social media.

As I sat in the tub the other day, looking down at myself, seeing myself, all of myself, marveling at my modest breasts, and my lack of a penis, I was just able to enjoy seeing my female form. And that was it. I was comfortable being me.

The scientist, the atheist, the military historian who likes making models of tanks etc, the silly girl who sings a sort of song when she's happy, the 'do' song (The only word in the song, pronounced in a variety of ways), Do dooo dad doo doo do do dooodi doo. The girl who imagines being married to her teddy bear, Frank.

I am not dominated by the world around me. It's my life, and I live it my way. I spend a lot of my time inside a romance novel, and it doesn't bother me that the stories are ALWAYS cisgender hetero. Because I see myself as just a woman. I'm just seeking my happily ever after. I'm ok that Frank is perceived in my mind as a cisgender man. I think that the fact he's not human, not even alive isn't important. We have discussions just fine. He doesn't always agree with me.

Ya know, the Christians claim, a non proven to exist, God, sent his son to earth via a virgin woman who was still a virgin afterwards, all so he could die, to save some humans from the guilt they had been given from before they were even born. As told by a book, that they only accept certain portions of when it is convenient for them. Well, they claim a whole lot of other things too.
So I don't think it so odd if I claim my teddy bear Frank is actually empowered by angels to protect me from nasty things I can't see.

Trying to speak rationally to some people, is really a pointless effort when you think about it.
Consider what they believe, and you want to have an intelligent argument with them?

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Lesley Niyori
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Post  MichaelaSJ Wed Mar 17, 2021 7:18 pm

Mostly thumbs up!

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If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
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Post  Kidagakash Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:29 am

I live in a very rural area. The bridge a mile north leads into Canada actually. I feel like it is a blessing and a curse. My moms family moved to this town 100 years ago. Everyone knows each other. I feel safe here even though I know most of the people here are old and conservative enough to not really understand. Ive never really been picked on or singled out but I also don't really have any friends here and sit at home all day. When I go out Im comfortable in public because everyone here is "Minnesota nice". I have been harassed and teased before but only a few times. I think if i still lived in phoenix it would be a lot harder. I sympathize with the latest slang. I still cringe at the word selfie. The latest i heard is "woke" which seems so broadly used that it seems like an excuse to not have to build a vocabulary.

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Post  mariehart1 Sun Mar 21, 2021 12:18 am

Generally agree. I think being transgender has become a bit of a trend in some scenarios. Particularly young girls of a certain age and sexual orientation. My 12 year old son developed an interest because one of the girls in his class has declared herself a boy. I'm dubious even though naturally I'm sympathetic. We had a chat about it and he told me, quite indignantly, about how someone on his online game deliberately misgendered a trans person. I admire his interest but I reminded him that he's twelve and really shouldn't be bothering himself with these issues. Amusingly he also took me to task for my view of people who call themselves gender fluid or gender neutral. My view is to pick a side, male or female not that I'm bothered how people label themselves.

I was most amused that my straight male son should lecture me. Of course he doesn't know because I'm now deeply back in the closet. Deeply ironically he thinks I'm an old fashioned 'boomer' straight white male. Guess my disguise is working.


"Trying to speak rationally to some people, is really a pointless effort when you think about it.
Consider what they believe, and you want to have an intelligent argument with them?"

Agree completely. I try to teach that to my sons but they're naive and idealistic. They'll have to find out the hard way.




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Post  Kidagakash Sun Mar 21, 2021 5:41 am

I dont agree with the rigidity or a binary gender system but Im not the ultimate word on anything. Yez he is young to be 'too' concerned about things. At the same time though, that was about the age I really started repressing. Nothing easy or cut and clear about this. Gotta just do what you feel is right.

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Post  Kidagakash Sun Mar 21, 2021 6:02 am

Easier said than done of course

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Post  Lesley Niyori Sun Mar 21, 2021 3:21 pm

I hate labels.

Are all transgender persons really the same? No.

Are all Christians really Christian? No.

Are all bisexuals, really bisexual? No.

Are all people on the left, really left-wing political supporters? No.

I AM disabled, I sure don't look it.

I am utterly female. I don't have a female voice though. Do I care? A bit? Would I do anything about it if the cost was nothing? No. Do my pronouns mean anything to me? only a bit. I'm wanting to convert to Mrs. I don't care if a stranger calls me sir all because of my voice. Even while staring at me in a bikini. I don't care about the stupidity of strangers.

Labels have so little real value.
I'd rather have a much thicker skin than pretend the world will ever change.
I'll fight against unjust laws. But not just unjust transphobic laws.
But I'm only going to take that so far.
Because I'm 60 next year, and I just don't have the energy to pretend I have the vitality to be that indignant.
My greatest statement when it comes to being transgender is the rather sharp knife I carry in my purse. Don't make me use it.

I believe in being kind, being fair, being generous, being friendly.
I will give a person the benefit of the doubt.
I will treat another as I want to be treated.
And if they treat me badly, they are getting it back.

I look harmless. I'm told I have a pure heart.
I am also a cold-blooded enemy.
My being an atheist means you can't expect me to respect anything based on religious beliefs.
I'm willing to let you believe anything, as long as you don't inflict it on me.
The second you steal my right to be an atheist is the moment you better fear my atheist ways more than your fear based on your beliefs. Because I AM real.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
I find it important to point out I am indeed the first member here Smile
Lesley Niyori
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