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An Anniversary I Didn't Think Possible

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Post  Kaibeth Wed Mar 31, 2021 8:25 pm

March 28th marked one year I have been completely free of drugs. No weed. No opium. No acid. No pain pills and booze. No nothing. (Full disclosure: I had, and will continue to have, a double shot of bourbon on Veterans Day and Memorial Day, because reasons.)

I have been steadily stoned since age 20. If it had a buzz, I was about it. Trauma and transgender, self-loathing and abusers, I was trying to escape any way I could. By far, my drug of choice was cannabis, thus my one year chip was the "No Tokin' Token." One Six Right is A - my favourite runway at Salt Lake City International Airport, and B - my username at my Twelve Step chatroom. I went with Twelve Step, honestly, because the SMART Recovery people didn't have a live chat that wasn't video/voice. I guess my Higher Power is the communities, like this one, where I can support and be supported. Something beyond myself to answer to.

I now face life as life comes. I take it on instead of hiding. I'm more present. I'm more focused. I'm less unstable. This was a good thing for me.

A thing I never thought I could do.

I never thought I would be able to get through a day without a bump. Without my escapes. Look at me now. lol

Anyway, that's all. I'm actually proud enough of something to brag a little.

Back in my burrow I go.

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"Eagles may soar, but badgers don't get sucked through jet engines."

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Post  Kaibeth Wed Mar 31, 2021 8:26 pm

P.S. Something else I am proud of -- I never did needle drugs. It was always ingested or smoked.

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"Eagles may soar, but badgers don't get sucked through jet engines."

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Post  mariehart1 Wed Mar 31, 2021 9:46 pm

Something to be proud of. Well done. It destroyed so many people. My only vice is alcohol and that was only came late in life when I overdid it a bit and still happens.
You're a sim pilot I was the strait laced pilot of the real thing which was my persona although I was a self loathing trans person. Still am.

I never took any drugs except once when someone gave me a toke. Zero. A glass of wine had more effect. In any case I feel no need to subsidise the violent drug gangs in this country.

Not that I ever even came across drugs. I had no friends and rarely went out socially. But I think my focus on an illusory career kept me away from reality.

You're right to me be proud and it seems you've replaced your more chaotic life with something better.

You're right about the needle drugs. The devastation they cause is something I've heard about personally from people who've been there.



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Post  MichaelaSJ Wed Mar 31, 2021 11:21 pm

Good for you and stay you.

When I went on active duty in 1965, I was 18 and I would regularly binge drink. It was becoming way too frequent, but I did it anyway.

One night, with four other shipmates in my car, I was so drunk that I ran a stop light and got pulled over by a local cop. I was so drunk I literally passed out in the cop's front seat, but because I was only a block from the base in Bremerton, WA, he gave me a pass and I drove onto the base.

If only he had busted me for DUI, I would have been better off.

In November 1966 I celebrated a shipmate's birthday in Tijuana, MX. The last thing I remember is asking for 5 shots of scotch. The next thing - I woke up in the San Diego County jail and spent 10 days there and when I finally got back to my ship, I spent 30 days in the brig.

I no longer drink. The last hard drink or beer I had was more than 5 years ago. I will have a glass of wine, but none so far this year. I was afraid I was becoming an alcoholic.

My problem today is that I have an arthritic spine with chronic pain. More than 10 years ago I was prescribed NORCO (think Vicodin). i started off with 3 10/325 NORCO pills a day and that has been the prescription I have used for the last 10 years.

I do not abuse NORCO, but, thanks to pressure from the DEA, my pain management doctor is reducing my ability to get a full 3 pills a day (90 pills/mo) to something less (75 pills/day).

Yes, I am addicted to NORCO. Actually, the doctors like the term "dependent'. My pain is chronic and at time is an 11 or 12 on a scale of 10. I have to ingest THC pills to get by during the day when my decreased dosage doesn't take away the pain.

I guess being stoned, rather than pain free is where US doctors are going these days.

I am glad kaibeth that you have been able to get rid of the drugs - keep doing so. I do understand the need for a glass of Bourbon on Veterans and Memorial days I will raise a glass with you.

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"Disobedience in the eyes of any one who has read history is man's original virtue. "—Oscar Wilde.
If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
“lifelong atheist, not afraid of burning in hell,” Ron Reagan FFRF
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Post  Lesley Niyori Thu Apr 01, 2021 12:57 am

A standing salute to you Kaibeth.

Damned awesome.
GREAT even.

It's a real bear to beat an addiction.

If I could, I'd treat ya to a nice steak dinner to celebrate, and a cold chocolate milkshake.

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Hi, I'm the forum's resident brat
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Post  Kaibeth Thu Apr 01, 2021 5:55 pm

Thanks, folks. It's hard for me to take pride in anything. But, this one, I think, merits some.

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"Eagles may soar, but badgers don't get sucked through jet engines."

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Post  MichaelaSJ Fri Apr 02, 2021 9:51 pm

Kaibeth wrote:Thanks, folks. It's hard for me to take pride in anything. But, this one, I think, merits some.

I think anytime you step aside from yourself in order to return to a better you merits a great sense of accomplishment and you have accomplished something few people do in their lives.

Good for you!!!

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"Disobedience in the eyes of any one who has read history is man's original virtue. "—Oscar Wilde.
If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war. If the Government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, better it is all those than that people worry over it. Peace, Montag.
Fahrenheit 451
“lifelong atheist, not afraid of burning in hell,” Ron Reagan FFRF
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