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does anyone else feel this way???

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Post  luckykunai Tue May 25, 2021 8:57 am

ever since I was a early teen... I wanted to be a "girly tomboy." I know I an trans and not the most girly or masculin.. I am more a nerdy otaku type if you ask me but I just love the way tomboys look.. when they are doing their look in a way that is still girly... I just feel that tomboys{a.k.a dudetes} get the best of both worlds... nail polish and and blowing stuff up... I don't know.. I feel like I am the only mtf that actually feels like a dudete... I am not sure why.... I know that is what I am and I am ot nonbinary... I was wondering if anyone else felt like I do.... I mean I don't mind girly girl things.. but I am a hearts sparkles, skulls and, hand grenades kind of girl... lol.. I am not sure if I ned to wor on my self acceptance and all due to the fact I feel like a literal oddity because of my rarity... any thoughts.

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Post  mariehart1 Tue May 25, 2021 11:55 am

I think you are in a sense falling into the sexual stereotype trap. Girls do pretty things. Boys do cool stuff. Tomboys are simply an old fashioned way of describing a girl who didn't conform to the girly cliché.

These day girls are almost expected to take on more what was in the past typically male roles. Look at the military for example. Tomboys? I doubt they'd appreciate you calling them that. I've known many women, often straight and superficially girly who can out male any man.

I'm now fully comfortable with my identity as a woman. But I was born male and tried hard to conform and took on 'male' roles. I wasn't that successful but I still have no qualms about being interested in things like that.


You're not as unusual as you think. I would say in fact if anything embrace it. I like pretty dresses, nail varnish, high heels, babies, tanks, motorcycles, racing cars flying planes and good war movies. I hate weepee movies and stupid football.

None of this stops me identifying as a woman.

I say go for it. If you suppress the 'tomboy' side of you then you'll just be fake.


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Post  Lesley Niyori Tue May 25, 2021 3:31 pm

Hello luckykunai.

Tomboy, I might be a tomboy.
I am hyper femme, buuuuut I also like tanks. My living room is awash is hyper girlie things (dolls teddy bears etc), but then there are the models of tanks.

I love my girlie clothes. I don't even own pants. If I'm riding my bike I still have a skirt on.

But I'm also a wargamer (no not call of duty, I mean military simulations, Google Advanced Squad Leader, it's a board game).

I'm quite girlie in behaviour, but I'm ex-military. I'm post-op. It mattered to me that I had to have girl parts as I saw it. But my voice is not remotely girly sounding. On a dark street and alone, I can likely scare the shit out of a would-be attacker. I sure don't look like a man in the light of day though.

I'm built like a furniture delivery person. I used to do that too. But I sure don't act like a bull dyke Smile

Your only real challenge is "how do you want to project yourself?"

My sister, drop dead gorgeous, and she can run cops and firefighters into the ground on a squash court. Damn she's fit. But she grew up with me doing boy things. She's so obviously female. But she's the sort to take charge.
Me, well, I see myself as a delicate flower. But, I'm not a weak delicate flower.
I project myself as what I am, a woman that's 60 next year, looks 35, and I kinda dress boho or hippie.

You being amab, don't need to be afraid of how you look. You might look bull dyke. But maybe girls ain't your thing. You might look like a sturdy athletic tomboy, but be kinda girlie inside.

The only thing that makes a transgender person transgender, is if they are of the opinion life gave them the wrong body. But there is no correct way to deal with that.

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Post  luckykunai Tue May 25, 2021 3:48 pm

ty two... i wanted to clarify... I feel alone in my taste... i am not sure why though... I think it is because when i try to look up advice on how to l pull off a "girly tomboy look." I am met with no real advice.. at least for my online searched.. I litterally had to pay for custom advice... It feels like there is no one else looking for what I am looking for.. but it just may be a lack of visibility... any thoughts...

P.s. i guess what I am asking is there anyone else like me...

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Post  Lesley Niyori Tue May 25, 2021 4:57 pm

To look like a 'girly tomboy'.

Well, I guess there are a few ideas, but, to look like a girl, seeking to be a tomboy, you might investigate afabs trying to look less feminine. That's a person born into a female body, that is trying to look less than totally feminine. A nonbinary afab might not want to shed all feminine looks but not look too totally girlie.

So for an amab, a person born into a male body, I guess the route is to try and look more feminine, but not go overboard with it (a common error with a lot of transgender females). In other words, avoid dresses and skirts. Try and look a bit like a sister's brother. Avoid overly made up appearances. Use make-up to conceal overly masculine features, but avoid make-up that draws attention. Go for the 'natural look'.

If I might guess, you are likely aiming for nonbinary in appearance from an amab starting point. So you need to play down the outright amab origins but aim for minimal feminine elements as if you were a girl wishing to play them down.

You need to research afab cisgender girls that are trying to look like tomboys and emulate that style.

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Post  Lesley Niyori Tue May 25, 2021 5:06 pm

Typically a girl tomboy might wear men's clothing The trick is a girl will look too small for the shirt.

Work boots is cliche tomboy. Lumberjack look is cliche tomboy.

The challenge is to not just look like a man in the process.

Tomboys are actually cisgender females routinely. Females tend to have breasts. If you don't have em, you will need em. Fakem if you have to. Wear a stuffed bra if you must. Tomboys still will need to accomodate their breasts.

Tomboys likely have will have female hair styles. You need to look like a girl trying to not look like a girl entirely. So your hair can't look too completely masculine. But it needs to look like it was originally feminine. If you have typical male pattern hair loss, you will need to deal with that.
You might not realize it from my image, but I'm actually bald. Tomboys are rarely bald.

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Post  Lesley Niyori Tue May 25, 2021 5:11 pm

As for feeling 'alone' that is something I deal with a lot.

No one seems like me.

Long story short, a memory loss, has resulted in my having no more than 9 years of memories. I live in a 59-year-old body. I feel only 9. I never seem to fit in. I don't want to be seen as 'creepy' around the young. I can't relate to those older than teen. In the end, I always seem to not fit in.

Being transgender just makes it harder.

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Post  luckykunai Tue May 25, 2021 5:11 pm

this is all good advice.. ty.. I want to have the look down.. but have a couple girly girl dresses just so I can switch things up... I guess you can say I was inspired by akali from kda....plus all the anime tomboys who kind of look both badass and kind of cute...

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Post  Lesley Niyori Tue May 25, 2021 5:39 pm

Anime and me have a long history Smile

Often it's carrying off the attitude as well Smile

Sailor Jupiter looks scary in the beginning but is really a softie inside.

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Post  luckykunai Tue May 25, 2021 5:42 pm

yeah sailor jupter is a pretty tomboy type.. that because of her sailor uniform has a girly look as well.... droooll.. not perfection but we are getting there though with this.... juri from street fighter is perfect girly tomboy but she has no real girly girl look... lol..

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Post  luckykunai Tue May 25, 2021 6:44 pm

last thing on this for awhile.... I swear if there are three words that at once would describe the style I wasa going for it would be kawaii battle trash.... lol...

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Post  Lesley Niyori Tue May 25, 2021 9:31 pm

So I'm guessing you are aiming for a Tsundere representation Smile

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Post  luckykunai Tue May 25, 2021 9:38 pm

yeah.. lol.. at least looks wise... at least half the time or maybe most of the time with occasional others..

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Post  Michi Wed May 26, 2021 9:33 pm

I never felt like the tomboy type when I was young but I remember wanting to be friends with tomboys.

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Post  Kidagakash Thu May 27, 2021 12:58 am

I don't really hear that term thrown around much these days. There is no normal type of girl. Me? I aim to be the most chill and real version of me there is. I am a composite of all my best influences. Somewhere between hippie chick, sci-fi/super nerd, Disney princess and something else that can only be described as "me". You admire the "Tom boy" look I would wager because it shows you a way out of stereotyping, a bridge for your lost identity to explore until you find your own unique self. It probably attracts you because it reduces the pressure to have to fit some kind of archaic 20th century gatekeepers test. I admire girls who have strongly defined personalities with fiery temperaments yet still have the touch of femininity that sets off the whole thing like a firecracker. When I was a bit younger, meeting girls like that inspired me to be who I am now. Welcome to the 21st century. Let your freak flag fly, baby!

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Post  luckykunai Thu May 27, 2021 1:29 pm

ty very much for the comment.

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