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Guess I oughta say Hi! again

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Post  marci Mon Jun 14, 2021 5:18 am

It's been a minute but I hung out a fair bit on the old boards and miss its depth and the variety of members.

When it went away it was sad, but I registered here and circled around it from time to time.  Didn't really feel the same though.  Then I kind of ignored posting altogether and went radio silent.

But there's nothing quite like it anywhere else that I can find, so I'm back, hoping to add to the traffic.  Cool

So...update:

I spent a lot of the COVID lockdown examining that, basically, I really wanted to transition, and getting myself off the uncomfortable fence I was sitting on.  My dad passed (who I never discussed any of this with in any way) and unexpectedly he left me a fair inheritance that gives me the backup for what I want to do, outside of my own currently erratic income.

There's only a couple people in my life that might react badly, and though I'm close to them (they're fundies, FWIW, and that makes it tough) I could handle that going south, though there's no way to know.  But I can't be beholden to somebody else's beliefs about my life.  Everybody else I know that doesn't already know, really won't care.  My circle is good that way.  I've been out for many years but I don't push it on anybody, but I'm sure people suspect.

This however is real, and at 65 I'm going for it for the rest of my life, however long that might be.  I've known since I was just a kid, and of course it never goes away.  I wanted to transition in my twenties and probably would have back in the day, except I got testicular cancer - oh cruel irony - and that really fucked with all my plans.  So I put it on hold.  And managed to sort of keep it in check, though being completely out (at least when asked) is a blessing of course.

But I recently found a younger GP that I relate to, and worked up the nerve to spend a long time going over my gender dysphoria - and now he's on board and has had transgender patients.  So I'm getting referred to Portland OHSU THP for HRT and will see where it goes.  I'm excited as shit, to be honest.  After a lifetime of partial repression I feel kind of like a caged bird being set free (but as a writer I hate using such a banal expression, even if it's true  Rolling Eyes ).

FWIW I'm thinking about Lisa now as my new name IRL, kind of wanting to have a clean break and make it easier for people then sticking to close to the old one.  Plus, well I've always liked that name.  cat

(But here I'm still Marci - because making another account would be kind of silly.  lol!  )

Have a beautiful day!
marci
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Post  Celia Eriksson Mon Jun 14, 2021 5:47 am

Hi Marci,

It is wonderful to have you return here again, after a few years of it's resurrection, I had noticed your return. I have always liked the name Lisa, I, and I am sure the others on the very much quieter new tg boards are happy to call you so.

Celia xx


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Post  marci Mon Jun 14, 2021 6:07 am

Thanks for the kind words!

As many have noted, dysphoria goes in phases but never goes away. A nonjudgmental place like this is a valuable resource for coming to real terms with it.

Lisa/Marci (whichever you like) I love you
marci
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Post  Lesley Niyori Mon Jun 14, 2021 4:10 pm

Lisa, I like it myself. Good choice.

65 is NOT too late. It's NEVER too late to enjoy the rest of your life as the real you after all.

Younger GPs yeah that's a blessing. MY GP is just counting the days to retire and D'arcy's GP is no different. Mine is ok, but D'arcy's is like "I'm retiring soon, why bother learning.

I think that says a lot of what it is with the older crowd. They just don't feel like changing.

Our future is with anyone under 20. I've stopped giving a shit about changing the minds of anyone over 30. Waste of energy.

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Post  marci Mon Jun 14, 2021 10:08 pm

Hey,

My GP was understanding and supportive. I had intended to get into my gender dysphoria and desire for transition when I first met him but there was a lot of other stuff to cover first.

It was great talking with a sympathetic doctor about how cool it would have been to grow up now - as opposed to in the distant past - with parents who were clued in. Sadly of course that never happened and I've always been the odd one out, or so it seemed to me growing up.

It was probably helpful that my breasts grew during puberty - and stayed that way. At the time it was traumatic but now I see it as a confirmation of my internal dysphoria, and I'm optimistic that I'll see further development with hormone therapy. I should be starting it within a couple weeks. cheers

Re age and transition - my reading indicates hormone therapy never loses its ability to effect desired changes, although the efficacy declines with age. I'd love to hear from anybody with experience along those lines. (hmm...maybe start a thread??)

Lisa/Marci I love you

marci
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Post  marci Sun Jun 20, 2021 5:35 pm

Well, minor update - won't be a couple weeks for HRT, it'll be at least a couple months (mid August). First appt with referred endo is the day before my birthday. Didn't expect them to be that backed up, but it just ups the anticipation. Twisted Evil
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