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A new milestone for me.

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Post  Elizabeth Lynn Sat Jul 03, 2021 6:29 am

I started HRT Wednesday.

The back story. I started transition in 2012. There was a lot to work through with my wife. She worked hard to understand, cope, and adapt as I moved through early social transition, laser treatments and electrolysis. I didn’t feel a great need to start hormones and for her, that was, at the time, a bridge too far. We found a place of mutual comfort.

A year ago, she passed away, losing her hard fought battle with cancer. When she died, I promised myself I’d make no big decisions for at least a year. A year has passed, and over the course of the last 12 months I’ve thought about this from every possible angle. Finally, with the clarity that being utterly alone brought, I realized and finally accepted the fact that there was now no reason, no excuses to deny what has become an increasingly insistent and persistent deeply seated call from my mind and body to begin. Maybe it’ll quiet the argument between my inside and my outside.
Elizabeth Lynn
Elizabeth Lynn

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Post  Lesley Niyori Sat Jul 03, 2021 11:36 am

I hope your journey gives you peace of mind.

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Post  Celia Eriksson Sat Jul 03, 2021 11:38 pm

Hi Liz,

It is a year, that has passed quickly, for I remember feeling for you even though we are simply kindred spirits upon an ethereal page of words. I am very happy for your news. I hope HRT goes smoothly and gives you that inner and outer peace. Though, for some HRT can quite go the other way.... big time, only sometimes, fear not sweetheart.

Anywhichway, it can be surprising, especially on the inside. For me it has proven stronger in compassion, understanding and intuition, and trust me, far more so than any cis woman can dream of possessing  

I remember my young days, green, fickle and uncaring, an effeminate gay man, with little notion about anything and zero inner spirit. Yes, a carpet, like I still am, a pushover... not quite everything changes in certain personality. But there is such a difference in my inner peace, at one with myself, both inside and out that the person of those days long ago has no semblance to myself today, in that regard.

I also possess now intuition that sometimes surprises myself greatly, even though I know I have fortunately acquired it in spades.

I will not delve deeply into what I can garner from simply meeting and to some degree conversing with someone these days, but I seldom am wrong in my gauge.

For example, I know pretty quickly when a person that is unhappy in their gender, but has either never realised or has thought that they cannot break the constraints of society and conformity, for fear of being ostracised. Understand, I mean unhappy in their gender, not unhappy. There is a difference.

I can match such a person to someone who is living that true gender and find such similarities of characteristics that confirm my first intuitive notion also. It's like, well that Gina is like Barry in all of her character, or that Will is the same as Fiona etc... I see this often. (You have to read my posts on 50/50 to fully understand perhaps. The fact that 50% of each gender is born incorrectly).

I have more intuitions, I often predict correctly outcomes of peoples decisions, actions and plans. No cis woman can match a transgender woman's intuition.

I hope Liz, you gain these attributes too, (if you do not already possess them!) and find that beautiful calming peace. As for the outside, that is as you know, a never ending battle to be better, and again, we spend more time at it than they.... few of them keep their body hair free 24/7/12...

Celia xx

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Celia Eriksson
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Post  Elizabeth Lynn Sat Jul 03, 2021 11:55 pm

Lesley Niyori wrote:I hope your journey gives you peace of mind.

Thank youBunny, me too.

Celia, thank you. It seems like a single act, but opens the door to so many possibilities as you’ve described so eloquently. We shall see where this takes me.

Liz
Elizabeth Lynn
Elizabeth Lynn

Posts : 62
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Post  Elizabeth Lynn Fri Aug 27, 2021 4:24 pm

Well, it’s two months from start date. Mood is more stable, I’m noticing that I’m not as reactive to formerly stressful events. There is a very definite firmness and tenderness on my left boob.

I lost my sense of smell more than 20 years ago. The other day, for some reason, I was flooded with a variety of odors, mostly floral and quite pleasant. Others have mentioned that their sense of smell became more acute over time. Not sure that’s what is going on here, so time will tell.

Lab work coming up next week then a telephone appt with my provider later in Sept.

So far it’s been a very gentle ride.

~ Liz
Elizabeth Lynn
Elizabeth Lynn

Posts : 62
Join date : 2018-09-24
Age : 68
Location : Southwest Idaho

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