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Post  Lucy Catherine Schoon on Mon Jun 25, 2018 9:01 am

I'm looking towards social transtion. I only really present as myself in our of town pride festivals. I wanted to present at Hull pride this year. In my hometown.

It turns out my mother and her friends have a stall at pride for age concern this year. I've told you about my mother, the unreasonable monster who doesn't want me being trans or "showing her up" in front of anyone she knows..

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Mon Jun 25, 2018 11:53 am

She sounds two-faced.

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Post  Lucy Catherine Schoon on Mon Jun 25, 2018 12:16 pm

She a very genuine and sincere person... She just wants to present an image to others.

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Mon Jun 25, 2018 1:24 pm

That's the definition of two-faced though dear.

If she can't be who she really is all the time, then that means she's actually not genuine nor sincere.

Genuine = only one of her.
Sincere = she says what she means and means what she says all the time.

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Post  Celia Eriksson on Mon Jun 25, 2018 2:47 pm

Hyacinth Bucket syndrome. Sounds like Mother is disingenuous, living a lie like Hyacinth in the tv show that I have forgotten the name of.

 
Go, enjoy the Hull parade. Perhaps dance a shimmy next to her stall a while, in the flimsiest ensemble ya can put together. Maybe grab a placard with a big arrow with 'Hi Mum! ' on it. I would, were you me, it might open her up a bit...

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Post  Lucy Catherine Schoon on Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:01 pm

Celia Eriksson wrote:Hyacinth Bucket syndrome. Sounds like Mother is disingenuous, living a lie like Hyacinth in the tv show that I have forgotten the name of.

 
Go, enjoy the Hull parade. Perhaps dance a shimmy next to her stall a while, in the flimsiest ensemble ya can put together. Maybe grab a placard with a big arrow with 'Hi Mum! ' on it. I would, were you me, it might open her up a bit...

You don't know my mother. Don't get me wrong at heart, I know she's a loving person. But there's something very wrong with her. Like, medically wrong.

Case in point. About this time last year, my granny was given 6 months to live. And that was enough, I thought, for my Mam and her to mend their differences. And it worked until about October, until my Mam went off on one. Writing her a spitefully letter which included the epic phrase "anyone can get cancer".

Now my Mam honestly can't work out why she had been written out of her mothers will.

This is a terrible story. One of countless I've got from 38 years of life. She likes to think she's gotten bitter from when my dad left, but she's always been horrible,

And I've got her in the back of my head, filling me with anxiety, fear, and insecurity. Can you imagine what my therapist will make of that when I start transition???

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:19 pm

Ooook yes, some of your earlier posts have re-entered my memory.

I'm inclined to suggest you just deny her existence to a point.

My mother's relationship with her mother in law (dad's mom) was sooo dreadful (and experience with granny was no good either), such that I have no difficulty spitting on her memory.

Being blood doesn't give a person a magical pass for unacceptable behaviour.

It sounds like she is not only fake with you inasmuch as real love is concerned, but, it sounds like her LGBT support is fake to, which tends to disgust me in a way. No idea why she would be that way, and being medically or mentally or both deficient, is still not worthy of a free pass.

I'm willing to, based on comments you have offered, to conclude she isn't loving at all.

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Post  MichaelaSJ on Tue Jun 26, 2018 3:38 am

Lucy Catherine Schoon wrote:She a very genuine and sincere person... She just wants to present an image to others.

Lucy gets the 'confusing quote of day' award.

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Post  Lucy Catherine Schoon on Tue Jun 26, 2018 1:21 pm

Screw it! This is perfect.....

I've got plenty of women's clothes, that don't necessarily look like women's clothes.

If I can get away with wearing these in front of my Mam. I can't start wearing them more in general. It's a start.

As long as I don't bottle out. (I might bottle out...)

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Post  Lesley Niyori on Tue Jun 26, 2018 1:38 pm

Clothes are the start dear.

My transition didn't begin until I had a female wardrobe. The hairdo didn't do it, carrying a purse didn't do it, jewellery didn't do it.

The moment I had a laundry load of women's clothing I made my move. I ditched the man stuff. I've not looked back. Not wavered once.

I wasn't a hot looking chick the first day or even the first year (that took almost 3 years). But, the first day I stepped out the door as ME, I was finally no longer him.

Create your look, stick with your look. Never waver. Never look back. Be you 24/7. Stop being the other person. Under no circumstances be the other person. Never be the other person. Not at family gatherings, nor funerals, or weddings. Be YOU.

Be ready to tell anyone that doesn't like you, they are expendable.

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